Welcome to the Piano World Piano Forums
Over 2.5 million posts about pianos, digital pianos, and all types of keyboard instruments
Join the World's Largest Community of Piano Lovers (it's free)
It's Fun to Play the Piano ... Please Pass It On!

Piano Forums & Piano World
Find a Professional
Our Classified Ads
Find Piano Professionals-

*Piano Dealers - Piano Stores
*Piano Tuners
*Piano Teachers
*Piano Movers
*Piano Restorations
*Piano Manufacturers

Advertise on Piano World

What's Hot!!
Welcome PianoTV members!
Posting Pictures on the Forums
ADVERTISE on Piano World
Piano Life Saver - Dampp Chaser
Dampp Chaser Piano Life Saver
Piano Buyer Guide
Piano Buyer Fall 2017
Pierce Piano Atlas

Who's Online Now
135 registered members (36251, Alexander Borro, ando, 7uturu, 31 invisible), 1,185 guests, and 2 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Estonia Pianos
Estonia Pianos
Quick Links to Useful Piano & Music Resources
Quick Links:
*Advertise On Piano World
*Free Piano Newsletter
*Online Piano Recitals
*Piano Recitals Index
*Piano & Music Accessories
*Live Piano Venues
*Music School Listings
* Buying a Piano
*Buying A Acoustic Piano
*Buying a Digital Piano
*Pianos for Sale
*Sell Your Piano
*How Old is My Piano?
*Directory/Site Map
*Virtual Piano
*Music Word Search
*Piano Videos
*Virtual Piano Chords & Scales
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1762725 - 10/01/11 06:16 AM befriending students  
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 732
Nannerl Mozart Offline
500 Post Club Member
Nannerl Mozart  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 732
Australia, Melbourne
I think this has been discussed before ... I'm just wondering if people still continue the teacher student relationship once they are friends. Has anybody been approached by a student to become friends? And has anybody declined? If so how?

For me, I have friends who work as teachers, and I have never considered them as prospective teachers. However, I have friends who are professionals in other areas - e.g. hair dressing, massage, dentistry. I will pay them their full rates, and if they discount their rates, I will respect that and still pay them in some other way (baking a cake, buying a gift etc). I accept their services because socially in those situations it's not much different ... I do have friends who work as doctors and nurses, but I don't go to them for medical advice and they don't treat me.

The arrangements with my current teachers are quite cordial, but distant enough so that they can be objective. We email often, joke between each other, know tiny bits of each other's personal life, but not enough so that we would be friends (e.g. I know that my teacher is married, with a son and enjoys fishing). The older I become, the less I'm treated as a child and it feels like I'm moving closer to becoming a colleague, even though I am still quite young, its quite a contrast since I'm starting to disagree with my teachers a bit, not in a bad way, more in a interpretation/ questioning the axioms way.

Piano & Music Accessories
piano accessories music gifts tuning and moving equipment
#1762742 - 10/01/11 06:56 AM Re: befriending students [Re: Nannerl Mozart]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,228
Morodiene Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
Morodiene  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,228
Boynton Beach, FL
This is an interesting question. I've never approached a friend about taking lessons from them because I've not had friends as piano or voice teachers that I could ask. I don't think I'd hesitate to ask if I thought they really were someone I needed to study with, though.

I have been approached by friends and family members to teach (family & friends present the same issues I think), and I find that usually lessons are sporadic and progress isn't made as much as it would be with a stranger. I'm sure there are exceptions, but this has been my experience. Therefore when a family member or friend I consider it with knowing what will most likely happen and only if there are no other feasible alternatives for the person.

As far as remaining objective, it may be unavoidable. I think of students that I've known for many years and how it is sometimes difficult to do so. This is why it is good for them to play or sing for others who are knowledgable in the field and get feedback. It helps me take a step back, too, and see what I should be focusing on.

private piano/voice teacher FT

[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
#1763457 - 10/02/11 02:42 PM Re: befriending students [Re: Nannerl Mozart]  
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 413
LeaC Offline
Full Member
LeaC  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 413
Nannerl, it sounds to me that you are mature enough to have a teacher/student relationship with someone that you know otherwise. Unfortunately, the authority of the teacher can be seriously compromised if the student takes everything personally. For this reason, I just don't take on students with whom I have a friendly relationship with (nor their children if I can avoid it.

An example of a relationship that did work with a student who became friendly with me is a woman (whose daughter I also taught) who was quite clear that she respected my expertise, and that was why she was studying with me. Not to get a discount, or just because she knew me (she paid full price, and willingly so). She was a great student in that she genuinely came to me for the right reasons, and was concious of that fact.

I learned the hard way how feathers can be ruffled by asserting instructions to a friend!

Last edited by LeaC; 10/02/11 02:42 PM.

Working on: Reworking Bartok's Suite Opus 14, Chopin's Polonaise Op.40, The Military (so much fun!)
#1763495 - 10/02/11 03:51 PM Re: befriending students [Re: Nannerl Mozart]  
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,514
Nikolas Offline
6000 Post Club Member
Nikolas  Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,514

First of all the 'become friends with a teacher', might hide something deeper... No idea if this is true, but it remains that the teacher is someone who holds a little bit of power over the student and that is fascinated!

Personally, I've become friends with quite a few of my teachers, but most are of the same sex as me (male). In fact I'm working and collaborating with a few of those and even more they don't seem to mind me being 20-30 years younger...

So it definitely is doable and there's nothing wrong really...

#1763734 - 10/03/11 03:06 AM Re: befriending students [Re: Nannerl Mozart]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,825
kevinb Offline
1000 Post Club Member
kevinb  Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,825
London, UK
I think it's possible to be friends with your students and your teachers, so long as you're able to compartmentalize the relationships to some extent. For mature and sensible people that should not really be difficult (or so it seems to me).

#1763761 - 10/03/11 05:10 AM Re: befriending students [Re: Nannerl Mozart]  
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 732
Nannerl Mozart Offline
500 Post Club Member
Nannerl Mozart  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 732
Australia, Melbourne
I've only just started teaching so it's sort of new to me to be on the other side. I've been through a few teachers, four each, on both instruments. And then there are the teachers in high school and even the ones in primary school. There is a teacher from my primary school who I am now friends with, she goes to my concert and supports my musical endeavours. There is another teacher from my high school who encouraged me to pursue my talent and interest in music and I have his contact details, I call him every so often to tell up about any upcoming gigs he might like to attend, or just to tell him what I'm going to do with my life (studies, musical jobs, etc). There are a few non- music teachers from my high school who I have requested to come to my future recitals.

Having said all of this, there are some teachers who I am glad to never have to see again! Sometimes I think this is the best thing about a professional relationship, you are not under any obligation to see that person again, and you probably never will unless they work in the same institution setting, but thankfully that never happened so far!

Mind you, I have a student, we went to high school together, and then I never saw him again until he inquired about private lessons. We get along very well, and quite recently he has requested that we hang out ... I'm not sure if I should accept ... like I guess there's nothing wrong with it but a tiny part of me feels like it's a bad thing. I'm not really sure why...

Moderated by  Ken Knapp 

Piano Acc. & Gift Items in
Piano World's Online Store
Save Big In our online store now

In PianoSupplies.com ,(a division of Piano World)
our online store for piano and music gifts and accessories, Digital Piano Dolly, party goods, tuning equipment, piano moving equipment, benches, lamps Caster Cups and more.

Free Shipping* on Jansen Artist Piano Benches, Cocoweb Piano Lamps, Hidrau Hydraulic Piano Benches
(*free shipping within contiguous U.S. only)
Maine Coast Music Vacation for Adults
Pearl River & Ritmuller
Pearl River Pianos
PianoTeq 6 Out now
New Topics - Multiple Forums
Mendelssohn Songs without words op 19
by Beemer. 01/19/18 02:18 PM
So glad I bought this book in the 1970's
by RaggedKeyPresser. 01/19/18 12:52 PM
Middle keys don't play on Kawai CN43
by flyingiguana. 01/19/18 12:13 PM
Small hands no worry
by RaggedKeyPresser. 01/19/18 11:34 AM
Forum Statistics
Most Online15,252
Mar 21st, 2010
Sanderson Accu-Tuner
Check It Out!
There's a lot more to Piano World than just the forums.
Click Here to
Explore The Rest of Piano World!!
Visit our online store for gifts for music lovers

Help keep the forums up and running with a donation, any amount is appreciated!
Or by becoming a Subscribing member! Thank-you.
Donate   Subscribe
Our Piano Related Classified Ads
| Dealers | Tuners | Lessons | Movers | Restorations | Pianos For Sale | Sell Your Piano |

Advertise on Piano World
| Subscribe | Piano World | PianoSupplies.com | Advertise on Piano World |
| |Contact | Privacy | Legal | About Us | Site Map | Free Newsletter |

copyright 1997 - 2018 Piano World ® all rights reserved
No part of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0