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Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735134 08/17/11 02:15 PM
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OK, here's what I was looking for:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Do_You_Care_What_Other_People_Think%3F

Nobel prize physicist, amateur percussionist, Richard Feynman's book "What Do You Care What Other People Think?"


-- J.S.

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Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735194 08/17/11 03:48 PM
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I don't think my spouse is particularly supportive of my piano playing. For years and years, I've had her shout out at me when I play. And typically she walks out of the house.

But on the other hand, there is a difference between "piano playing" and "piano practicing". Practicing sounds awful. You're repeating yourself constantly and the complaints are understandable, particularly for non-musicians.

So get rid of the Grand???? heck NO.

Buy a digital in addition!



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Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
JohnSprung #1735418 08/17/11 09:04 PM
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Originally Posted by JohnSprung
Keep the piano, replace the husband and the neighbour. ;-)


+1 smile

... But if you really want to keep them too :), maybe you can buy one of those MIDI devices that you can add to any acoustic piano so that you can use your piano both as an acoustic and as a digital piano.

Don't give up what you love just because of some stupid comments please!!! Just think of what your old teacher said. Have you thought of talking to him/her about how you feel by the way ?



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Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735444 08/17/11 09:44 PM
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Keep up the hunt for a good teacher- that does make a world of difference!

My mom/dad (both quite old) are my harshest critics and I actually try to play for them as little as possible! My dad actually told me once " I didn't come into the living room b/c I knew you were just practicing".......( I wasn't!)

really, I never get any positive comments from them so after thinking about it for a while, I concluded:
1. they don't play any instruments and really have NO CLUE how much work and time and practice it takes to play the piano
2. I love it and it gives me complete and utter joy
3. It's REALLY good for my mind (and mood!)

So.....I'm playing until I keel over , head-first- on the keys! smile

As a side note, my friends/strangers (& luckily, hubby + kid) are always complimentary....to be otherwise, is plain rude!

I vote for you continuing to play if it gives you joy AND I'm betting someday, your husband (who probably just has very high standards) may tell someone,
" yeah, she's really good!"
Hang in there----


I don't care too much for money. For money can't buy me love.
-the Beatles



Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735456 08/17/11 10:07 PM
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I think you need to get some serious self-esteem because you obviously have none whatsoever.
You should be playing the piano because you enjoy it and because it makes you feel good.
I would hate to go through life letting my self-worth be determined what other people thought of any endeavour I participated in.
Why the heck should you care what other people think of your piano playing skills?

Losers are always putting people down who are striving to accomplish something.

Did you buy the piano so that you could please other people?
If so, then yes sell the piano and ask for the approval of everybody else in your life before you attempt anything from now on.

If you didn't buy the piano to please other people then ignore your jerk of a husband and your moronic friends and keep playing.





Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735460 08/17/11 10:13 PM
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Did you ask if your husband was joking?

I'd keep it up, especially after buying a grand. Keep going to impress your husband. Take his comment as a challenge to get better.

Sometimes insults are given by accident. I'd ask him what he meant, explain that he hurt your feelings and go from there.

The best thing that you can do is to talk it over with him and forgive him. It isn't a reason for you to stop playing.

TonalHarmony

Last edited by TonalHarmony; 08/17/11 10:23 PM.

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Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735461 08/17/11 10:16 PM
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There's an old saying that seems appropriate here:

Don't let the bastards get you down.

Seriously, though. I play for my own enjoyment, not that of others. If I had to do this to entertain others, I would be a tremendous failure, but I can entertain myself (and annoy my wife) for hours at a time. Keep playing as long as YOU enjoy it.


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Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735473 08/17/11 10:31 PM
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I got the "don't quit your day job" once from my BIL (who also plays the piano, though only by ear) when I was trying to play something -- maybe Mozart? -- on a horrible digital at my MIL's nursing home. I turned the tables on him by making him play "Happy Birthday" at my husband's BD party -- and he was horrible! But I didn't say anything. heh heh

Seriously, though, most nonmusicians are completely unappreciative of how much work it takes to play anything, even badly. In fact, most musicians don't realize how much work it takes -- until they are in the hot seat and find out they're not prepared for it. Playing something from memory on the spot, perfectly, in front of other people, no matter how simple the piece, requires many hours of the right kind of practice.

So cut yourself and all these other people some slack and just let it go and keep playing. They really don't know any better.


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Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735482 08/17/11 10:46 PM
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I have another phobia that I worry about… I get some nice complements from others on my piano playing, and I wonder… are they just being nice and polite? Are they saying one thing with their mouth and thinking something else in their mind and heart?

I think to myself, okay, they say that I can play well, but they really think my playing is horrible and just don’t want to say it.

Oh what the heck, I have enough to worry about as it is…
I wrote a song once that says “There’s a thing called pseudo lovin’ … they don’t always mean what they say… they tell you that they love, but they break your heart anyway”. laugh

Okay, it’s late and I’m tired and stressed and starting to pour out my heart and soul to all my ABF friends… smile

Take care, and best regards!

Rick


Piano enthusiast and amateur musician: "Treat others the way you would like to be treated". Yamaha C7. YouTube Channel
Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735503 08/18/11 12:11 AM
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Tell your neighbor she is at the moment nowhere near good enough to open her mouth in public and she must wait at least 2 years after which just maybe she will develop a clue.

Meanwhile, continue enjoying piano as much as you did before she opened her mouth.

Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735522 08/18/11 12:54 AM
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I've done some endurance running. Those people say that you run until you're broken. That is where the race begins.

It has been said that it doesn't matter if you fall. You will fall. What matters is if, and how you get back up.

Gee...Only a couple years and your neighbor thinks you'll impress people? Not that far away.

As a child. I played a couple instruments in school. My family was less than supportive. Just one good clear note, and I would hear: "Get that noise out of here!" I was good enough that I was the only solo to earn a first rating at contest from my school. I dropped music. I regret it. Allowed myself to fall into being a withdrawn, false person who only got along. Then leave me alone. Now I play and sing for my own enjoyment. Any thought of performing in anyway must follow Janis' advice below.

Forget the world of ego's. And people who speak only from ego. That is a dead life.


Ron
Your brain is a sponge. Keep it wet. Mary Gae George
The focus of your personal practice is discipline. Not numbers. Scott Sonnon
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Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735526 08/18/11 01:10 AM
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I agree with ChopinAddict. You're still in contact with the retired teacher you like, so take her out to lunch and tell her what your experiencing. Keep in mind that no matter what your trying to do, there are going to be challenges like this. "The enjoyment of what your doing has to stay in charge and ahead of your ambition. Otherwise your going to burn out fast". This was told to me by the person who told me, "Follow your dreams, or you'll die in a nightmare". Sometimes I'm lucky enough to follow good advice like this.


"Imagine it in all its primatic colorings, its counterpart in our souls - our souls that are great pianos whose strings, of honey and of steel, the divisions of the rainbow set twanging, loosing on the air great novels of adventure!" - William Carlos Williams
Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
TX-Dennis #1735529 08/18/11 01:14 AM
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Last edited by Elssa; 08/18/11 01:19 AM.
Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
Dave B #1735534 08/18/11 01:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Dave B
"The enjoyment of what your doing has to stay in charge and ahead of your ambition. Otherwise your going to burn out fast". This was told to me by the person who told me, "Follow your dreams, or you'll die in a nightmare". Sometimes I'm lucky enough to follow good advice like this.


Excellent advice, as are the other postings thumb



Carl

Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735568 08/18/11 02:36 AM
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Also, some people seem to lack a gene for tact. Tact is one of the most important and unrecognized skills of civilized life. About 70% of the general population seems to lack it.

I don't mine being told I suck, but tell me nicely and privately.


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Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735577 08/18/11 03:35 AM
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Oh wow so many replies.......thank you all so much.

After reading your comments I have to say that I totally agree with what everyone is saying and I had a few giggles too. I play because I love playing and I love to play because it makes me happy. I love hearing how I make my piano sound and I love having a beautiful piano I can sit down to in the evenings. I love hearing new pieces that I like and spending hours trying to find what it was and then surfing the internet to find the sheet music and seeing if it is something I can try to play. I love seeing if I can sightread and I even love creating my own scales............ I had forgotten all of this until just now after hearing all of your thoughts.

I am going to sit down with a glass of wine, go through my sheet music and find something I really want to teach myself and realise that I do not have to learn something because it is part of a syllabus. I'm actually feeling quite excited. My husband is working late so its just me and the dog - yay.

On a passing note my husband is incredibly supportive and often compliments my progress and tells me when he thinks something sounds great or that he likes what I am playing (especially when I found the Star Wars theme and just randomly played it for him) He doesn't know I overheard what he said to his friend and I got really upset because I felt the truth had finally come out.

Anyway thank you all for reminding me why and play and reminding me it is not for others peoples enjoyment but ONLY for my own. I am going to have to start another thread because I have mainly been with a teacher and if I am going alone into the big wide world of teaching myself I may need some pointers on where to start.

I am happy to say that I am now smiling and looking forward to opening the lid and seeing where the music takes me.

Michelle
x

Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735582 08/18/11 03:49 AM
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laugh laugh grin laugh HOORAY for Michelle.......


I may not play very well, but my heart is there!!!!!!
Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735595 08/18/11 04:29 AM
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Another pianist saved smile


- Artur Gajewski

Working on:
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Chopin - Waltz in A minor
Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735599 08/18/11 04:49 AM
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Originally Posted by MichelleM
I am going to have to start another thread because I have mainly been with a teacher and if I am going alone into the big wide world of teaching myself I may need some pointers on where to start.

I am happy to say that I am now smiling and looking forward to opening the lid and seeing where the music takes me.

Yay, Michelle! thumb

I suggest, however, that you keep calling those teachers until someone answers the phone. You need a supportive teacher who will help you set goals, help you polish your skills, and give you constructive feedback.


"Playing the piano is my greatest joy...period."......JP
Re: Wish I never bought my grand piano
MichelleM #1735603 08/18/11 05:15 AM
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Absolutely Jazzyprof I agree 100%. I love having a teacher :-) but I think I need to figure out what exactly it is I want to learn - eg do i want to sit exams? What genre? etc and I think maybe a couple of months will help me answer these questions.

Last edited by MichelleM; 08/18/11 05:56 AM.
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