Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum When parental involvement crosses the line

In this regard, I ended up scribbling this blog on my way home from the Bay.. It's supposed to be funny, but it fleshes out all kinds of problem parents.. put into neat categories

http://arioso7.wordpress.com/2011/0...-the-right-balance-worth-a-few-chuckles/

If you can think of any others, let me know.

Want to get rid of a student a bit less gracefully, but with a lot more fun?

A few ideas:

Next time the parent asks a silly time-wasting question about what you're doing, respond that the quantum quarks in the child's hand have to be aligned properly or the hand might shrivel into a shrunken husk. As you say this, make sure that your left eye is twitching in a sinister manner. When the parent looks confused and taken aback, let your upper lip quiver, raise your eyes to heaven and call on Loki to help you. Problem solved.

Alternatively, when the mom asks for a make up, cackle in a high-pitched voice for one full minute. Tell her that you have a meeting of your coven at her preferred time. Suggest that she and her son are welcome to join the group, but that the coven's taste in food and beverages might seem strange to her. Lick your lips forcefully and look hungrily at your cat at this moment. Problem solved.

Pianodad, thanks for making me laugh. Unfortunately, I agreed to do the makeups for their vacation but the parent tells me what days and times work for them, generally making it very difficult. Overall, the best option for all concerned parties is to move on with another teacher who would be a better fit for this family.

Candywoman, the straw that broke this camel's back occurred since my last post. I was very clear that this was very uncomfortable and stressful for me, and that I was not able to continue with this family. I stressed the importance of the right family/teacher match, and clearly this was not working. Without going into more details, the parent went over my head to the store staff, in an attempt to override my policy. It's time to move on.

thanks, that about covers all possible scenarios!

This says it all right here. It's quite possibly the other 2 teachers didn't stand for this parental nonsense as well.

You've also said that as you were writing the post, that you should dismiss them. Go with your instinct, you are usually right as to what is best for yourself.

Also, the fact that the parent is second quessing your teaching techniques is down-right infuriating. YOU are the professional, and "stick to your guns". If the parent doubts this, then maybe that parent should be teaching his child, then!

I can understand your frustration, but frankly, it seems that you're allowing some of this stuff happen. When the lesson time is over, why don't you just say, "See you next week". And if they try to stay and talk, say, "Sorry, I can't talk. I have some things I need to work on." And if the mom asks for explanations through email, just reply, "We can discuss this at the next lesson." And if they ask for make-up lessons, tell them,"I'm sorry, my policy doesn't allow for that." It may be a little brusque, but that's how you have to deal with some people. This certainly won't solve all the problems you have with them, but it could give you more energy to deal with the other ones.

We are looking for a solution here, and what WILL solve the problem will be to get rid of this student (See my post above).

What's the point of teaching a student if it's not enjoyable?

Yes, but it sounded like the OP wasn't able to arrange for that. Besides, you don't want to run into those same problems with yet another student.

Paying the rent?

Of course she can arrange for that, any teacher is free to do so.

On your second point, very true, one would want to avoid problems like this in the future, and stating your policies early and clearly are the best bets

Find a new occupation?

Yes, this is a store student, not one of my private students.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this sounds like YOU are the one who is leaving, instead of this family. If true, that sounds like the store owner insists that the customer is indeed king, despite any language you may have put into your policies, and even any language that might exist in his arrangement with the teachers who teach out of his store. Again, if true, it sounds like he figures you are easy enough to replace.

Can you take your existing students with you, I wonder, or are there any (possibly unenforceable) non-compete clauses in your contract?

I'm sure there are many other stores in your area, looking for a talented teacher as yourself?

peace.

peace.

Do you have anything better to do than construct a series of put-down stereotypes?

Wow, sounds like a pretty nasty area to teach in!