Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Did you ever drop student b/c of parent?

I've noticed a cooler reception lately from the parent when I arrive to give a lesson to her pre-teen, who supposedly has a "very minor learning disorder." It's been challenging to teach the child, but the parent just wants lessons for the child b/c parent thinks it will improve grades. Despite my make up policy requiring 24 hours notice, parent continues to call the day of the lesson with various excuses - usually child is sick (in which case I will make up a lesson due to last minute illness), or the most recent reason: "end of school fun activities". I always remind the parent of my policy, but relent and do the makeup. I again reminded the parent of my requirement of 24 hours notice, and when I arrived for the lesson, was greeted quite distantly, and after the lesson the parent advised they want to back off for the summer and do every other week. I think this is a great opportunity to exit from this family, but there's a part of me that doesn't want to drop the student. I am thinking of providing a revised makeup policy in August stating no more makeups except in the case of teacher cancellation. Have you ever dropped a student b/c of parental issues? Some parents are so wonderful to work with, then there are those........

Not to be overly critical, but it sounds like your lesson makeup policy is to do makeups at the parent's discretion. A no makeup policy means no makeups, no exceptions.

And to your question about wanting to drop students because of parents, oh, yes, we've all been down that road!

If you always end up doing the makeup, then your policy is to always do the makeup.

This uncomfortable situation has happened entirely by your own choice.

Speaking VERY generally, I have found that when your relationship with the student's parents has become uncomfortable, you might as well stop now, for everyone's sake.

I have only two or three times in twenty years dropped a student because of the student. It's almost always to do with the parents.

I've dropped about eight students because of the parent. Most of the time the parents are trying to do too many things at once, and have extremely poor time management skills.

Not sure if it's too late to help, but there's an article on exactly this issue:

http://www.insidemusicteaching.com/articles/art_deadwood1.html

Basically looks at the circumstances under which teachers should be letting students go - painful parents/studio policy ignorers is very much on the list!

Philip Johnston

This is such a lively and engaging article with truth abounding. Thanks for posting.

I blogged about a similar theme, perhaps a spin off of what was written. I asserted that the first interview with a prospective student is a crystal ball of what's to come.

http://arioso7.wordpress.com/2011/0...interview-is-better-than-a-crystal-ball/

Back to the link you posted. I particularly identify with the student whom the teacher describes as making no progress week after week.(And you know that practicing has been minimal or nonexistent) which doesn't seem to bother the student or the parent, the latter, who is usually "absent" in the desired supportive triad (teacher/student/parent)

And as I've always maintained, when the parent doesn't care what's going on, even with the calls and emails sent her way, you have a hill to climb. If, however, we as teachers let go of every student who didn't practice, or related, then we might find ourselves on the bread line.

Inevitably, it has to do with the parent. Once you lose that alliance, it's downhill all the way.

chasingrainbows, I've had a parent say they want to decrease to a lesson every 2 weeks. My response was to let the parent know I don't do that (and I say it doesn't work for kids). And I let them go. The request I had for every 2 weeks was their way of saying they don't really want to continue, but are indecisive about it.

When a parent cancels a lesson, just say "OK. See you next week." If the parent requests a make-up lesson you can say "I won't be able to give a make-up lesson. I'll plan to see you next week."

I'd let the family go, but try to focus on the success that has occurred over the length of time you've been working with them.

I agree! If you always end up doing the makeup lesson, how do you expect for them to comply with your "policy?" Your policy is actually doing the makeup when the parent asks you to, regardless of when they cancel. If you don't enforce your 24-hour cancellation policy, don't expect the parents to heed it.

I understand you are being lenient with this family because their daughter has special needs, but it sounds more like the parents are expecting special treatment. I would do two things in this situation:
1) ASAP, update the policy to state NO MAKEUPS. FOR ANY REASON.
2) Suggest a break for this student. It sounds like that is what they want, and you will be giving them an easy way out.

As far as studio policy, you can hand a copy to parents, have them sign, but unless there are frequent reminders about absences and makeups, there's a blissful ignorance about the whole thing.

The every other week arrangement, you are right, doesn't work. Sometimes, if not often, it's meant to trim the budget, with learning being sacrificed in the process. In addition, when you agree to teach bi-monthly, you can't fill openings for every week because the day is tied up for half the month.

+1 to all of the responses!

Let me get this straight: "arriving" for a lessons means that you are going to the student's house?

For me make-ups are about my time and getting paid. I am lenient with parents who respect me. When I don't get respect, I don't budge an inch.

And yes, I have "fired" parents. It's fair. Parents can terminate lessons with us at any time. We should have the same right!

Most of the time it doesn't work, but I can find at least three examples (one is my current student, and two are my friend's students) where this bi-weekly lesson arrangement worked out well. As usual, I think it really depends on the individual student.

True! I am currently teaching a pair of siblings on alternate weeks (all of my other students get weekly lessons). The younger sibling (beginner this year) is doing really well - in fact, is progressing probably faster than most students who have lessons every week. The only problem is trying to fit hearing all the new music she has learnt over the past fortnight into the 30-minute lesson! Unfortunately the older sibling (inherited as a transfer student, isn't interested in accuracy or fingering, prefers to play "hard pieces" well above his level) is not doing so well. The parents know it's not ideal, but can't afford to pay for weekly lessons for both kids at the moment.

Yes, this is unfortunate wake up call to teachers. If I were to eliminate all the students who were guilty of barely practicing, coming to lessons with half their books, forgetting to do some of the assignments, I would be left with one student!

Ann, unfortunately, I agreed to do every other week. I havve to develop the response of "I will get back to you after I check my schedule" or something like that, to give me time to think about it. I was so taken aback that I just immediately agreed. Now how do I extricate myself from this?

Stanny, that is part of the reason for my being more accomodating. However, this particular parent is taking advantage. I am more lenient with private students rather than my store students with regard to make ups, which as stated by others in this thread, is my own fault when I am taken advantage of. It's time to let them go. I thought about revising my policy and including the no make up policy, which will ensure that they quit.

Music32, I've reminded the parent of my policy, everytime she cancels at the last minute. It is my own fault that she continues to be so inconsiderate. I can easily fill the slot with another student, and plan to do that.