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LOL! I look back at my own wedding with some chagrin. There are things I would do differently if I were doing it over again. (Before y'all start fretting, I would pick the same spouse. ) But it's hard to tamp down the impulse to be a control freak and Make Everything Perfect On the Most Important Day of Your Life.

I did, however, prioritize the things I obsessed over. So when I got to the florist, I think I startled the guy by saying "No offense, but flowers are the least important part of the ceremony for me. I've got $xxx to spend. Whip up some stuff for me, and I'll be back to pick it up on the wedding day."

But...er...I was probably one of those obnoxious brides when it came to the music....

I like to think that the TV show, "Bridezillas," has made many marrying maidens want, more than anything, not to appear as its star.

You have to marvel that the grooms can look down the maw of this behavior and still go through with the ceremony.

music?

i paid for my wedding.. catered a luncheon for 95, bought my dress at a thrift shop for 35 bucks, made my own invitations and veil and bought my cake at the local Price Chopper.. ha ha. (I wouldn't buy that cake again).

my mom insisted on choosing the music since I got married in her house ... her favorite religious songs, played by our mutual friend on our carpy Acrosonic. My sister who drives me bats got to sing.

i worked so hard getting everything ready; cooking, moving, cleaning my apartment and working 2 jobs, I lost almost 10 pounds. I was ravenous as I waited for mr. apple to come and help me cut the darn cake... thus the 'extreme' look.

You made a lovely bride, Apple. Even the cake looks good. The music--- well, you made your mother happy, and there's a lot to be said for that. Easy for me to say, I'm sure--- I have Gould on the speakers playing all six Bach 'Partitas,' and no lesser music can gain a foothold.

Now a real Bridezilla... would pick a fight with her husband-to-be, fire all the bridesmaids (keeping their dresses for her own use), and tell her mother that she would call the police if she showed up at the wedding.

I love this photo, Apple! What a look on your face. Very, uh, determined. You've got a waist the size of a coffee cup. I do hope you ate some of that cake.

I agree with Clef, never a bad thing to make your mother happy on your wedding day. In my case it was my mother-in-law. We were married in her church in Louisville, Kentucky, since my father-in-law was the preacher there. She and the church ladies made all the arrangements, which was basically like having an army of Baptist ladies uniformed in pastel lace take over my life. They did a swell job, though, on a shoestring budget. I got a little tipsy (wine smuggled into the reception for the non-Baptist bride) and recorded a lovely version of Son of a Preacher Man in the church parking lot.

Monica, I was very particular about flowers. I got it in my head I wanted French blue Delphinium (I had seen these flowers at a reception I played at the Plaza in NYC) and was determined to have them for our ceremony. I'm sure I drove the florist nuts. Your way of doing things is so sensible. Florists are artists and they almost always do a good job if left to their own devices.

John took charge of the music for our wedding. We had a fabulous jazz trio play for both the wedding and the reception. Raised a few eyebrows with the pink lace ladies (as did my minidress) but what the heck, it's good to shake things up now and then!

And speaking of my husband, John . . .

He played a wedding on Saturday night. He did a lot of this when we were back in NYC, but these days—due to his concert schedule— it's rare that he has one of these jobs. Anyway, he was playing with a nice jazz trio. Good money, good conditions, nice people.

On Sunday morning I asked him about the gig.

"Well," he said. "It was not without its frustrations."

"Of course," I said. "It was a wedding. What happened?"

"Yo-yo Boy."

"Yo-yo Boy?"

"Yep. Six year old kid with no supervision and a yo-yo."

"Oh no."

"Oh yo."

"Don't tell me. He was seated right next to the band."

"He was standing. His parents evidently told him to take his yo-yo and go listen to the music. Which is what he did. But the whole time he was standing there he kept swinging his yo-yo around like a lasso. Trying to do those yo-yo tricks, like Around the World, Rock the Baby, and the Undercut Roll. But he wasn't very good. I really thought he was gonna hit the bass. Or that the yo-yo part would detach from the string. That thing would have been like a missile. It actually hit the piano a couple of times."

"Oh no."

"Oh yo. But the pianist didn't seem to notice. The singer didn't notice. In fact, no one seemed upset about Yo-yo boy except me. There were 100 people there and no one was claiming Yo-yo Boy.He was like an orphan or something."

"Yeah, that happens at weddings," I said. "Parents abandon their kids as soon as the soup course is served. What did you do?"

"Well I couldn't stand it anymore and I know this is wrong, but I yelled at him."

"You yelled at a six year old?"

"Yeah. He had started rapping the yo-yo against the piano—the kid had no sense of rhythm, trust me— and I just snapped. I said HEY YOU YO-YO BOY! GO FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO PLAY! NOW! He looked kind of scared and then ran away.

"Well. Welcome to wedding world," I said. "What happened next?"

"He went out in the lobby to play. But later, when the father of the bride started his speech, I heard a loud bap noise. It was the yo-yo hitting the wooden floor. I couldn't see the kid, but the yo-yo came rolling into the dining room—like a bowling ball— right across the dance floor in the middle of the speech."

a great little story Robin.

I play (and rehearse weekly) with a marvelous flautest. Often, her 7 year old, totally undisciplined son accompanies her to practice. He'll climb on the organ bench while I am playing, come up and play on the piano.. She is indulgent and he is obviously used to ignoring her. Once I totally went off on the poor kid and told him if he EVER climbed up on the organ again that I would take him in the back and spank him. I don't even spank my own kids or rather, didn't. That stopped him for a few months. He is a sweet kid, but geez.

Reminds me of one of the first times I played organ in church.

Hope I haven't told this one before. I sometimes wonder if Alzheimers is sneaking up on me. I sometimes wonder if Alzheimers is sneaking up on me. I some..... NO!

But anyway. The generic Protestant service had lost their organist. 52 years with that church! It was an Allen ADC-100 if I recall correctly, which (sadly) is unlikely. Decent electronic organ, anyway. She considered herself temporary, therefore no point in learning the pedals. And 52 years later, still no pedals. But I digress.

I found a high school kid with 8 years of lessons. Very dedicated student, I heard her play Rhapsody in Blue at <sigh> nearly double tempo. She glanced at the hymns and said no problem, I can sight read that. I said no, we're going to rehearse, these aren't as easy as they look. I had to collect my daughter, because working alone with a high school girl in an empty church is long term imprudent. Anyway, she couldn't do it. Catching a singers tempo and simplifying where necessary were skills she just didn't have yet.

So I played the service. Simplified everything to I, IV, V, close position chords left hand, melody right. (I'd had about a month of piano lessons at the time)(Yes there was INTENSE pressure. As always when playing way above your ability.)

And now the point of the story. That particular church did a 15 minute Praise and Worship Sing before the service, with guitars etc., then followed with the first traditional hymn. I sang with the team, then hopped on the organ bench, checked that my registration was still set and everything turned on, looked up to see the pastor nod, and raised my hands to play the first chord..........

........and.............

felt impact on both shoulders, as members of the P&W team hopped on the organ bench from both sides, to sit with me.

Say what??????????????

It was kind of touchingly intimate on one hand, and HOLY CARP! on the other hand.

I ended up playing for that church for a couple of years, and eventually leading the P&W Choir as well. (after that first service, the current P&W leader, a kind of formal guy, came up to me and asked "do you play piano as well?"

There is no way I could pass up a feed like that one. Without a moment's hesitation I replied, "no sir, I play piano as badly!"

Perfect, Tim. Never let an opportunity like that get by you. It's the golden key to a life with no regrets.

So now, tell us some more trombone stories... I know you've got some.

No wedding news from me (though my partner has mentioned the subject). The best I can say is that I'm recovering well from the knee replacement surgery, and that my mental faculties are no worse than they were (as far as that goes). The way I can tell is, how I feel first thing in the morning. As recently as a week ago, it was "go straight to the coffee pot, take a double dose of pain medication, and don't expect too much for the first hour." Now, not much pain in the morning--- that comes later, after I start the physical therapy exercises. They know. They tell you the PT is "aggressive" for this early stage, and is meant to give you a better outcome later on, not to make you comfortable now.

But, just by following the printed directions (I have a whole inch-and-a-half binder full of them) I've moved to the head of the class; my physical therapist is kind of amazed (she says) at the strength and range-of-motion I've recovered. Maybe most people are slackers; I don't know. Surgeon says, sternly but paternally: "So, keep up the good work and especially work on straightening the knee out flat." So, of course, I do; I've made enough trouble for them already. And I am happy I can make it up and down the stairs ok, and regain a little more strength every day.

Maybe I'd better open up the piano and play through my lessons before I forget everything...

I don't know , Tim, I think a couple of Praise and Worship guys hanging on your shoulders might be good for one's self confidence, especially if you could get them to praise and worship you, which they should, if you're having to slog through all that church music. Great story!

Go, Clef, go! That knee sounds like it's well on its way to a complete recovery. Glad you don't have those organ pedals to fret over. What's with the piano pedal? Will that be tricky at first? Is this your right or left leg?

Today in Wedding History:

"1858 – The Wedding March by Felix Mendelssohn becomes a popular wedding recessional after it is played on this day at the marriage of Queen Victoria's daughter, Victoria, and Friedrich of Prussia."

A lesson in star power, composers... or would we call it 'product placement' today? Things seem more fungible than they used to; maybe I'm still a little loopy.

Left knee, Robin--- to answer your question. No difficulties with piano or car pedals. Anything that takes bending or extension requires caution and forethought, though.

1905 – Maria von Trapp, Austrian-born singer (d. 1987)
The organ strikes up a plausible intro for a wedding processional, the nuns are singing, the crane dolly draws the camera back and the wide-screen takes in the candles, the flowers, the cathedral, the slim lady in the gorgeous white gown... but what is that song? Good lord, it's "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria." The nuns have had their revenge: "How," indeed--- you marry her off! Happy birthday, Maria von Trapp.

2010- "Bridezillas--- Where Are They Now?" http://www.wetv.com/bridezillas/
A bold look at bridezillas of yore, and how their marriages have fared. I found it surprising that the comments of viewers, posted on the website, actually broke up some of the marriages--- the brides said. A likely story, indeed. On the other hand, many are still hitched. See, there really is someone for everyone, no matter how unlikely it may seem.

2011- http://www.filenesbasement.com/running-of-the-brides/
"Wear a sports bra or swimsuit, and no makeup---" yes, the website actually says that.

Filene's basement is scary enough in ordinary times. On the bridal sale days... fuhgeddabout it. I wouldn't go anywhere near it.

I still wear clothes that I bought from Filene's basement at rock-bottom prices 25 years ago. Nice quality and good value. Everything in the basement was marked with a tag showing multiple prices, e.g., how much you'd have to pay for it now, how much less it would cost in a week, then two weeks. (After that, I believe, it was donated to charity.) I never had the nerve to put something back and hope it would still be around in a week at a cheaper price.

You still fit into clothes you bought 25 years ago!!! wow, my hat is off to you!

They were loose sweater vests/shirts... no way am I fitting in my 25-year-old jeans! Heck, I can't even fit into my 2-year-old jeans any more!

Now, if Weightwatchers just had a stand, a booth, or a roach coach at Filene's basement. What a killing they could make. First of all with Weightwatchers coffee and orange juice and breakfast snacks... all presented by ladies who could and might be wearing their wedding gowns to serve.

Perhaps it is a fantasy indeed, but then again, who could forget it.

....and in wedding news today

(one can watch previous episodes on you tube in America and view photos a the website.

Thanks for that, Apple. I liked the part about the wedding dress weighing more than the bride's father.

NOT the case at last night's castle wedding, where the groom looked like the bride's father, or maybe even grandfather. The young woman was truly stunning, wearing a sleek white silk mini dress with a floor length sheer chiffon train. Top of the dress looked like white mink or sable or something. She was Asian, maybe 20 or 25 years old, and really, just perfect looking. No tattoos. Groom, who was in tails, might have been 75 or 80. He was not so perfect looking, but he did look happy. There were 6 (!) guests for the reception. Easy job as these things go, but rather a weird vibe. I did play "September Song," but I don't think anyone recognized it.

Monica, there's an entire essay in the new book called "What to Wear." I suspect you'll relate!

Clef, what an idea! A WW catering stand at Filene's on Bride Day? Brilliant.

a little story to relate..

In my twenties I was best friends with a girl whose family (once VERY rich) suddenly lost all their money. Her father built the stadiums for football and baseball in Kansas City and was sued. Reta was desparate to be once again be rich, to be able to buy a 400 dollar dress every Tuesday, to be able to dine, wine and drive in style. She started dating Carl, an aged plastic surgeon from Lebanon. He was then 55 and she was 22. She developed an interest in him because she needed a boob reduction and by golly, she got him to do it for free. She continued to date him and constantly talked about how much she really loved him and how much money he had. (he was some sort of royalty from Lebanon).

I got sick of hearing her talk about him constantly, and one day I said.. "Reta - just marry him already". I was horrified when she did. They were more than 30 years apart. She moved into his house and wore designer dresses while doing housework and preparing his food. She became a major philanthropist and had 2 children. 31 years later, Carl is still alive. Reta and Carl have homes in Kansas, Florida and Ireland. Reta is very happy. Their children, a girl and a boy, are absolutely gorgeous, almost professional and both studying medicine.

Who'd a thunk?

ROFL!! Sheer brilliance!

But only six guests at the wedding?! At a (presumably expensive) castle wedding?! One can't help but wonder if the original invite list was a lot longer but guests boycotted out of protest...