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[i]Thoughts anyone?PS-I think I'll get this book today (on the Kindle). Which is exactly what that article was for, to get you to buy her book.
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OK..I read the whole book last night. The WSJ article is just a provocation to make people want to read or buy the book. The book itself does not claim what WSJ article stated. Once you read the book, you will have different perspective.
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[i]Thoughts anyone?PS-I think I'll get this book today (on the Kindle). Which is exactly what that article was for, to get you to buy her book. Yeah, but you have to admire the nicely pulled publicity stunt, especially given that those who have read the book say that the book actually doesn't make the claims of the WSJ article. See: throw out a controversy (or in some Asian parents' mind, an insult), then if you want to know what I really think, buy the book!
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[i]Thoughts anyone?PS-I think I'll get this book today (on the Kindle). Which is exactly what that article was for, to get you to buy her book. Yeah, but you have to admire the nicely pulled publicity stunt, especially given that those who have read the book say that the book actually doesn't make the claims of the WSJ article. See: throw out a controversy (or in some Asian parents' mind, an insult), then if you want to know what I really think, buy the book! The reason I bought the book is that I would like to know how she will be able to face her students at Yale if she really made claims her superiority way of raising kids like what in the WSJ article. It is just hard to believe a smart woman like her to claim all those politically incorrect assertions. Again, she is very smart in marketing her book.
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Watching the interview with her on the 'Today Show', she seemed to back-pedal from some of her more controversial statements made in the article. She said her book was really more 'anecdotal' and not necessarily telling parents that her way of raising kids was better.
But then, as she started to explain some of her concerns with 'American' style parenting (some of which I do agree with her), she got cut off because time had run out for the interview.
Music School Owner Early Childhood Music Teacher/Group Piano Teacher/Private Piano Teacher Member of MTAC and Guild
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Watching the interview with her on the 'Today Show', she seemed to back-pedal from some of her more controversial statements made in the article. She said her book was really more 'anecdotal' and not necessarily telling parents that her way of raising kids was better.
But then, as she started to explain some of her concerns with 'American' style parenting (some of which I do agree with her), she got cut off because time had run out for the interview. When you read the book, her tone is totally different.
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The "I am the parent and I know what is best for you" works to some extent, such as getting the kid to eat broccoli...But we all have our natural proclivities and parents need to discover these and not force what just isn't there. An interesting quote:
His father intended for him to pursue electrical engineering, but he clashed with authorities and resented the school's regimen and teaching method. He later wrote that the spirit of learning and creative thought were lost in strict rote learning.
The "He".....was Albert Einstein. Yet another example taken from 99.99999% of the percentile, as are those that went on to win the Nobel Prize. No, My main point is that had Einstein followed his parents wishes, his contributions to physics might have been lost.
Estonia L190 #7004 Casio CDP S350
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The "I am the parent and I know what is best for you" works to some extent, such as getting the kid to eat broccoli...But we all have our natural proclivities and parents need to discover these and not force what just isn't there. An interesting quote:
His father intended for him to pursue electrical engineering, but he clashed with authorities and resented the school's regimen and teaching method. He later wrote that the spirit of learning and creative thought were lost in strict rote learning.
The "He".....was Albert Einstein. Yet another example taken from 99.99999% of the percentile, as are those that went on to win the Nobel Prize. No, My main point is that had Einstein followed his parents wishes, his contributions to physics might have been lost. You have no point here, because Einstein thing is not applicable to most normal human being. You need to use an example that applicable to most normal people.
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Do bullies have low self-esteem or high self-esteem? If "American parenting" focus on self-esteem, why there are so many bullies in schools?
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The "I am the parent and I know what is best for you" works to some extent, such as getting the kid to eat broccoli...But we all have our natural proclivities and parents need to discover these and not force what just isn't there. An interesting quote:
His father intended for him to pursue electrical engineering, but he clashed with authorities and resented the school's regimen and teaching method. He later wrote that the spirit of learning and creative thought were lost in strict rote learning.
The "He".....was Albert Einstein. Yet another example taken from 99.99999% of the percentile, as are those that went on to win the Nobel Prize. No, My main point is that had Einstein followed his parents wishes, his contributions to physics might have been lost. You have no point here, because Einstein thing is not applicable to most normal human being. You need to use an example that applicable to most normal people. Stanza could argue: "if only more people disobeyed their parents and followed their own dreams, we would have more Einsteins in our society and then, these Einsteins wouldn't be such a rare breed anymore". You wouldn't be able to disprove this hypothesis, nor would Stanza be able to prove it (that this approach would produce more Einsteins), neither person really has a point.
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The "I am the parent and I know what is best for you" works to some extent, such as getting the kid to eat broccoli...But we all have our natural proclivities and parents need to discover these and not force what just isn't there. An interesting quote:
His father intended for him to pursue electrical engineering, but he clashed with authorities and resented the school's regimen and teaching method. He later wrote that the spirit of learning and creative thought were lost in strict rote learning.
The "He".....was Albert Einstein. Yet another example taken from 99.99999% of the percentile, as are those that went on to win the Nobel Prize. No, My main point is that had Einstein followed his parents wishes, his contributions to physics might have been lost. You have no point here, because Einstein thing is not applicable to most normal human being. You need to use an example that applicable to most normal people. Stanza could argue: "if only more people disobeyed their parents and followed their own dreams, we would have more Einsteins in our society and then, these Einsteins wouldn't be such a rare breed anymore". You wouldn't be able to disprove this hypothesis, nor would Stanza be able to prove it (that this approach would produce more Einsteins), neither person really has a point. The probability of having an consistent IQ on the magnitude of "genius" is enough to prove my point. Unless there are people out there disillusioned enough to really believe they are smart as they say they are, then the percentage of the population that is both exposed to the right nature and nurture is slim. The question is not "if", but "when" to disobey your parents. Critical disciplinary lessons and morale should be instilled at a young age such that the child reaches his/her teens, irregardless of what decision in life he/she makes, will do no harm to society at worst.
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The point Stanza was trying to make (I think) is that love of learning vs. the do it my way or else philosophy is what made the difference in Einstein's case. He loved physics and that love (and an amazing imagination) allowed him to go far. Very, very far. What you don't hear too much from many Asian parents (I think) is the 'I support you if you follow your dreams.' What you do hear (the stereotype) is, 'pursue a career that will make good money and make me proud.' Two highly divergent viewpoints and roads that lead to very different destinations.
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Do bullies have low self-esteem or high self-esteem? If "American parenting" focus on self-esteem, why there are so many bullies in schools? Contrary to popular belief, aggressive tendencies overall are associated with higher levels of self-esteem (see recent reviews by Roy Baumeister). Edit: After receiving a PM asking for more details about that finding, I thought I'd add a link to one of the review articles I was talking about, entitled "Does Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?". (Short answer: No. ) http://www.csom.umn.edu/Assets/71496.pdf
Last edited by Monica K.; 01/12/11 11:32 PM. Reason: added link to review article on self-esteem
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Contrary to popular belief, aggressive tendencies overall are associated with higher levels of self-esteem (see recent reviews by Roy Baumeister).
I would look up those reviews if only my graduate program's workload let me. However, being a graduate student in Psychology, I'm wary of such findings that claim "correlations" or "associations". There's always some other variable that people haven't controlled for. There's always a statistical issue at hand, whose philosophical implications if thought through, might show that such analyses are not conclusive in the least. Then of course the issue of individual differences. Most people average data over subjects hoping that all that they haven't controlled for would get "averaged out" as noise (which is obviously false because those uncontrolled variables are not random variables). So I have my reservations about this type of finding, that pervades all(most) of the social psych literature right now.
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The point Stanza was trying to make (I think) is that love of learning vs. the do it my way or else philosophy is what made the difference in Einstein's case. He loved physics and that love (and an amazing imagination) allowed him to go far. Very, very far. What you don't hear too much from many Asian parents (I think) is the 'I support you if you follow your dreams.' What you do hear (the stereotype) is, 'pursue a career that will make good money and make me proud.' Two highly divergent viewpoints and roads that lead to very different destinations. Thank you, eweiss
Estonia L190 #7004 Casio CDP S350
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Surprising views, coming from an American-born Chinese and also married to a (non-Chinese) American.
I would have imagined her views, in the extreme, would lie somewhere between immigrant Asian and Western (stereotypical) parenting.
It's as if, she is an immigrant herself. She's not.
Last edited by Akira; 01/13/11 03:45 PM.
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"...In another room, another mother of a seven year old was paying for an extra lesson on how to join rh and lh for the Little Donkey, and having a lot more fun..."
This is a great comment. Forty-five minutes with a good teacher would have been more fun, and taken the extra stress out of that mother/daughter relationship.
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I'd like to know from our Asian teachers and students.... is this how you learned piano? Is this what you experienced as a child (no play dates, no dating, etc...)? While judging a piano competition for young children, a tiny Asian boy came up to tell me that this music was really hard and piano lessons were difficult because his teacher wasn't American. The comment was very cute and a little scary at the same time. I had wondered how he had come about this idea of "non-American" teacher, and how his family may have been a little flushed if they had heard him say that to the blonde-haired, blue-eyed judge. As a piano teacher who has students constantly playing in festivals and competitions in the area, I will say that when my students make it to the Winner Recitals, they do tend to be the 'token white student,' but they all seem to be having fun, no matter what their race.
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Contrary to popular belief, aggressive tendencies overall are associated with higher levels of self-esteem (see recent reviews by Roy Baumeister).
I would look up those reviews if only my graduate program's workload let me. However, being a graduate student in Psychology, I'm wary of such findings that claim "correlations" or "associations". There's always some other variable that people haven't controlled for. There's always a statistical issue at hand, whose philosophical implications if thought through, might show that such analyses are not conclusive in the least. Then of course the issue of individual differences. Most people average data over subjects hoping that all that they haven't controlled for would get "averaged out" as noise (which is obviously false because those uncontrolled variables are not random variables). So I have my reservations about this type of finding, that pervades all(most) of the social psych literature right now. Since you are in the Psychology field, you should do some study and then write a paper on this Chinese way of learning piano phenomena. We know that there have been so many successful results from utilizing this force method of learning piano.
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As a piano teacher who has students constantly playing in festivals and competitions in the area, I will say that when my students make it to the Winner Recitals, they do tend to be the 'token white student,' but they all seem to be having fun, no matter what their race.
But the other, non-white, kids who got to the winners recitals might also be having fun! High expectations don't necessarily exclude fun. It depends on whether the high expectations are in line with the child's own motivation and abilities. The little boy's comment is cute but the difference between teachers of different nationalities or ethnicities might not be that huge if we control for other factors such as the background of the teachers and the background of the students.
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Laura
by Oniap - 04/22/24 03:57 PM
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