Welcome to the Piano World Piano Forums
Over 2.5 million posts about pianos, digital pianos, and all types of keyboard instruments
Join the World's Largest Community of Piano Lovers (it's free)
It's Fun to Play the Piano ... Please Pass It On!

Piano Forums & Piano World
Find a Professional
Our Classified Ads
Find Piano Professionals-

*Piano Dealers - Piano Stores
*Piano Tuners
*Piano Teachers
*Piano Movers
*Piano Restorations
*Piano Manufacturers

Advertise on Piano World

What's Hot!!
Welcome PianoTV members!
Posting Pictures on the Forums
ADVERTISE on Piano World
Piano Life Saver - Dampp Chaser
Dampp Chaser Piano Life Saver
Piano Buyer Guide
Piano Buyer Fall 2017
Pierce Piano Atlas

Who's Online Now
69 registered members (AZNpiano, alphonsus, barbaram, Ancore, 21 invisible), 1,159 guests, and 1 spider.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Estonia Pianos
Estonia Pianos
Quick Links to Useful Piano & Music Resources
Quick Links:
*Advertise On Piano World
*Free Piano Newsletter
*Online Piano Recitals
*Piano Recitals Index
*Piano & Music Accessories
*Live Piano Venues
*Music School Listings
* Buying a Piano
*Buying A Acoustic Piano
*Buying a Digital Piano
*Pianos for Sale
*Sell Your Piano
*How Old is My Piano?
*Directory/Site Map
*Virtual Piano
*Music Word Search
*Piano Videos
*Virtual Piano Chords & Scales
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1587463 - 12/30/10 07:33 PM Pilots Vs Air Traffic Controllers  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 6,198
Piano World Offline
Piano World  Offline

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 6,198
Parsonsfield, ME (orig. Nahant...

Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers. Who says pilots and controllers don't have a sense of humor.

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"


Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet.. How much noise can we make
up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a


O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a
Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the
little Fokker in sight."


A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked,
"What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."


A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long
roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the
end of the runway, if you are able.. If you are not able, take the
Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich ,
overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):
"Because you lost the bloody war!"


Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end
of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702,contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."


One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold
short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed,rolled out, turned around,
and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came backwith a real zinger:
"I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."


The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but
how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! Clear of active
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you
not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark -- and I didn't land."


While taxiing at London's Airport, the crew
of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727..
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew,
screaming: "US Air 2771, where the heck are you going? I told you to
turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right
there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C
and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting
hysterically: " Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out!
Stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive
taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I
tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance
engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every
cockpit out around
Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke
the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:

"Wasn't I married to you once?"

- Frank B.
Founder / Owner / Host
Find Us On:
Skype: PianoWorldDotCom
My Keyboards:
Estonia L-190 w/ ProRecord, Yamaha P-80, Estey 1895 Pump Organ, Harpsichord (kit), Clavichord (kit), Bilhorn Telescope Organ c 1880
It's Fun To Play the Piano ... PLEASE Pass It On!
Invite everyone you know to join our piano forums!

Piano & Music Accessories
piano accessories music gifts tuning and moving equipment
#1637459 - 03/09/11 02:08 PM Re: Pilots Vs Air Traffic Controllers [Re: Piano World]  
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 18,189
Monica K. Offline

Platinum Supporter until Dec 31 2012
Monica K.  Offline

Platinum Supporter until Dec 31 2012

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 18,189
Lexington, Kentucky
Thanks for pointing this out in your newsletter, Frank. I don't know if I would've seen it otherwise. My dad has a pilot's license and will get a big kick out of these, as did I.

Mason & Hamlin A -- 91997
My YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/pianomonica
[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
#1638062 - 03/10/11 09:09 AM Re: Pilots Vs Air Traffic Controllers [Re: Monica K.]  
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,502
R0B Offline
1000 Post Club Member
R0B  Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,502

#1638227 - 03/10/11 01:30 PM Re: Pilots Vs Air Traffic Controllers [Re: Piano World]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 20
AT83 Offline
Full Member
AT83  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 20
Good Review of the Old Stories.
I was once told by a controller that the FAA didn't allow them to have a sense of humor anymore (which I thought was rather funny) and that they really had to tone it down. As a commercial airline pilot I regularly hear things on the radio that make me chuckle, but nothing like some of these.

How long has Pan Am been gone?
How about Eastern?
or TWA?

There are few B727's, DC-10's or Fokker 100s operating in the US, and none for Major Airlines (United, Delta, American or US Airways).

Roland DP-990, AKG K501
#1662428 - 04/18/11 03:36 PM Re: Pilots Vs Air Traffic Controllers [Re: AT83]  
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 476
Kincaid Offline
Full Member
Kincaid  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 476
Portland, Oregon
great stories!

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Pet 4:7-8 NIV)
#1672390 - 05/06/11 06:08 AM Re: Pilots Vs Air Traffic Controllers [Re: Piano World]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,813
kevinb Online content
1000 Post Club Member
kevinb  Online Content
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,813
London, UK
Great stories but, I suspect, apocryphal -- or very old. I've done a bit of piloting (in the UK) and airway discipline is pretty strict. Bandwidth is limited, and pilots are trained to talk almost in code, to mimize the amount of airtime used. It's unusual even to hear a complete sentence, let alone sarcasm.

The longest non-code exchange I've ever heard was:

Control to pilot: [callsign] Please be advised that if you don't land in five minutes, we're operating unlicensed.
Pilot: Oops! Sooooooryyyyy! [callsign]

#1727366 - 08/05/11 03:17 PM Re: Pilots Vs Air Traffic Controllers [Re: Piano World]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12
JoshWheeler Offline
Junior Member
JoshWheeler  Offline
Junior Member

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12
Santa Clarita, California
These are so funny! Came back to read them again...

#1753597 - 09/16/11 01:17 PM Re: Pilots Vs Air Traffic Controllers [Re: Piano World]  
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,903
wouter79 Online content
4000 Post Club Member
wouter79  Online Content
4000 Post Club Member

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,903
Great, thanks!

>"not been to Frankfurt before?"
>Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark -- and I didn't land."


>"Wasn't I married to you once?"

Great move!

[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
#1753599 - 09/16/11 01:19 PM Re: Pilots Vs Air Traffic Controllers [Re: Piano World]  
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,903
wouter79 Online content
4000 Post Club Member
wouter79  Online Content
4000 Post Club Member

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,903
>Control to pilot: [callsign] Please be advised that if you >don't land in five minutes, we're operating unlicensed.
>Pilot: Oops! Sooooooryyyyy! [callsign]

Unlicensed, do airports close at some time? Or do they have a permit to operate?

[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]

Moderated by  Piano World 

Piano Acc. & Gift Items in
Piano World's Online Store
Save Big In our online store now

In PianoSupplies.com ,(a division of Piano World)
our online store for piano and music gifts and accessories, Digital Piano Dolly, party goods, tuning equipment, piano moving equipment, benches, lamps Caster Cups and more.

Free Shipping* on Jansen Artist Piano Benches, Cocoweb Piano Lamps, Hidrau Hydraulic Piano Benches
(*free shipping within contiguous U.S. only)
Maine Coast Music Vacation for Adults
Pearl River & Ritmuller
Ritmuller Pianos
PianoTeq 6 Out now
New Topics - Multiple Forums
by Marko in Boston. 01/18/18 04:50 AM
Casio CDP-130 as stage piano
by DrBekken. 01/18/18 04:46 AM
Physicist's guide to the orchestra
by PhilipInChina. 01/18/18 04:03 AM
Question about Rest
by Keith Lynn. 01/18/18 01:49 AM
New Discord Server for Piano
by RmntcPianoLvr. 01/17/18 06:17 PM
Forum Statistics
Most Online15,252
Mar 21st, 2010
Sanderson Accu-Tuner
Check It Out!
There's a lot more to Piano World than just the forums.
Click Here to
Explore The Rest of Piano World!!
Visit our online store for gifts for music lovers

Help keep the forums up and running with a donation, any amount is appreciated!
Or by becoming a Subscribing member! Thank-you.
Donate   Subscribe
Our Piano Related Classified Ads
| Dealers | Tuners | Lessons | Movers | Restorations | Pianos For Sale | Sell Your Piano |

Advertise on Piano World
| Subscribe | Piano World | PianoSupplies.com | Advertise on Piano World |
| |Contact | Privacy | Legal | About Us | Site Map | Free Newsletter |

copyright 1997 - 2018 Piano World ® all rights reserved
No part of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0