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I am becoming more and more aware of how poor my early piano teachers really were. I'm usually not someone who dwells on the past but lately I've been feeling deep regret for paths not taken because of opportunitites I did not know about. I seem to have had a line of teachers who selfishly kept me as a student because my enthusiasm made me fun to work with. They all should have passed me on to the next level.

I was recently told (at an audition) that I should have been a performance major in college. Sigh. I'm determined to make up for lost time but at the ripening ago of (almost) 60, I find that people see a white head and assume all doors are closed.

We'll see about that!

There's always hair dye.

I'm allergic to it! And besides, every white hair was earned.

Someone once told me when I was auditioning (I'd already been out of college for 10 years when I went back for music) that I was too old to learn, and that if I had been 18 they would have seen potential and taken me. That was a blow to my confidence, and I've been fighting against that thought ever since. If I do believe those thoughts, they will impact my potential and give the doors a much greater chance of being closed. I am DETERMINED to succeed, and will continue sticking my head in the sand to ignore those thoughts until I do!

Which program is this, I'm curious. Schools have "extension diploma programs" for people with a degree and want a conservatoire experience. Perhaps you were auditioning for a place geared towards young undergrads?

No way! Her stunning silver-white hair is part of her vibrant persona!

Regards,

never.

and ever.

It would be foolish to say to every person in every situation "Go for it, you can do it", because sometimes it just isn't true. There are things in the world that you simply can't do. For example, I'm sorry to break this to you, but it's too late for you to become a child prodigy. And I think pro basketball is out as well.

But there are many many more things that you probably could do, that you've just never tried.

Never forget that you're talking about music. When a brain surgeon makes a major error, the patient dies. When a musician makes a major error, the audience may wonder what happened... or they may not. Big difference.

That's a bit negative Dave. Yes, you'll never play the big works but life's too short for all that. You can be a contender on the other stuff though - as good as it gets.

If your goal, whether at 18 or at 60, is to be a performance major in college, then you are talking about playing the big works.

That's true. Most have no idea what it takes to be a performance major.

For once (not that I've had much opportunity) I agree. Though doing performance at college is a substantially lesser challenge than in the real world.

I've kinda been there too. I actually started playing somewhere around 6 years old. When I was 8-9 my mother suggested to me that I should go to music school. I said that I didn't want to 'cause I didn't like classical music or piano teachers. I just continued playing on my own and didn't improve that much. And eventually I nearly stopped playing around 13-14. Then I got motivation to play at age of 17. Now I'm 20 and during these 3 years I've regretted it so much that I didn't go to music school when my mom suggested it. And when I think of going there now, I just feel so old that I can't.

Fortunately my technique has improved during this year and I've got my confidence back a little thanks to that. But I must say that starting playing again has been my greatest joy these last years but also my greatest curse. That little thing saying in my head: "I could be a lot better than this if I just had listened to my mom back then".

So what's the lesson of this story? LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS!

Regrets? Life is full of them, even for me at the age of 33 (with silver hair non the less... :D).

Deborah is going the greatly right way to challenge herself. It's the trip that counts eventually! So, yeah I say, GO FOR IT! Full speed! There's nothing to lose!

Hi Deborah,

Try not to dwell on the past too much. I am a sophomore in college at almost 59. I didn't even start taking lessons until I was almost 14 and had dreams of pursuing a performance degree. But that didn't happen and I ended up not touching a piano for a very long time (30+ years!). I am always playing catch-up and it takes me forever learning pieces becasue I'm also trying at the same time to learn the technique involved. And memorization? It seems to take forever. Right now I am a B.A. candidate in music. I could switch to a B.M. in performance, but I really don't want to put myself under the pressure of a Junior and Senior recital. And I simply don't have the 6-7 hours of practice time available like all the younger performance majors. But everyone in the music department is so supportive of me, especially my teacher. And I do play some bigger pieces. Will I ever play Gaspard? Probably not. But that's okay. I'm finally doing the thing I really love...making music.

Sharon

Does this mean you intend to become a performance major at college or just apply yourself more assiduously to practicing now that you have a more knowledgable teacher?

Although compliments are nice at an audition, I don't really see how someone could judge your what ability was 40+ years ago with the degree of accuracy to be able to say what could have been done that long ago. If you were good enough to be a performance major at 18, wouldn't you be much better than that at this point?

Go for a performance degree as long as you are sure you'll have the time to dedicate towards practice.

Don't rule out playing the 'big works.' Even if you can't get some of them up to performance level, the reward of discovering things in those pieces for yourself - not to mention that at some point, you might end up teaching advanced students - is really gratifying.

This was for a B.A./B.M. degree at a local state university. To be fair, I did reaudition a few months later, and they took me on the second audition, but unfortunately the words still stuck. There is some truth in them - the brain becomes less capable of learning new things quickly after the teen years. But, I'm thinking that if I am smarter about my practicing, I can reduce some of that handicap.

Not to be mean, but you are going at it the wrong way. For starters, you need to get out of "I had bad teachers" mode. A teacher is a mere guide, you are doing the walking. Then you need to identify your goal, precisely and beyond the am I too old/feel good reaction/counter-reaction mantra back and forth..
Third, you need to be realistic, not because you are 60 but rather because achievement takes careful planning, at any age. You cannot fight biology: you and all of us are continuously aging. But you can fight mental inertia, up to a degree or until/if you get Alzheimer's.
Take charge, educate yourself, widen your horizons beyond your current wonderful teacher and beware of settling too comfortably in any one situation.. The "other" teachers did not tie you down to study with them: you stayed because you enjoyed the feel good atmosphere. Ignorance is not a good excuse either. You should have and could have known better, if music was really your calling..

Having said that, all the above cannot matter. Seize the moment and change direction towards a clearly defined destination. Make sure that if your heart and mind are in the clouds, your feet remain solidly on the ground, ie a dose of reality is a crucial component of achievable dreams. I would say exactly the same words to an 18 year old.