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It's Fun to Play the Piano ... Please Pass It On!
Part of it is the expectation on the part of parents that the teacher won't suddenly not be available the next year! There is a discrepancy in assumed commitment.
I'm sure that parents would be horrified and upset if teachers started simply saying, no, I won't be teaching your child next year. Of course, according to business ethics there is no reason why a teacher should feel any responsibility to continue lessons from one year to another [although the business model of running a piano teaching studio relies on returning pupils for continuity of business activity].
I had an art teacher who decided not to continue teaching the next year, and we weren't too bothered by it. I didn't continue art lessons with anyone else after that. Teachers have every right to do this, same as parents.
Also, my first piano teacher decided to go to law school. I'm sure she didn't continue teaching after that.
The fact of the matter is they could be too embarrassed to tell you (as in some cases when the reason is the teacher himself), the issue could be private, or (as a few have mentioned) they might simply have forgotten.
I tend to walk away, without explanation, from any perceived conflict or problem at a personal level. Some people may think that's rude, but I don't (because of the perception in the first place). There's usually plenty of alternatives.
The fact of the matter is they could be too embarrassed to tell you (as in some cases when the reason is the teacher himself), the issue could be private, or (as a few have mentioned) they might simply have forgotten.
I tend to walk away, without explanation, from any perceived conflict or problem at a personal level. Some people may think that's rude, but I don't (because of the perception in the first place). There's usually plenty of alternatives.
Who likes conflict or problems at the personal level? Does anyone? I don't think anyone is saying here that we as teachers need or even really want to know what any personal issues are, about why the kid is leaving our studio. Just at least send a letter saying they are stopping lessons and thank you for helping their child.
It was an email "sent from my blackberry" lol. I'm not surprised or sad that they are not coming, it's been harder and harder to accommodate her "crazy busy schedule".
Seems to me this is a sign of the times. People are overextended - in their credit card debt, mortgages, their home schedules....
This mother is too busy and something had to give. Unfortunately it was the piano lessons. Obviously, those of us on this site would say that it would have been wiser to cut out something else which was consuming the family's time/money.
I don't think anyone is saying here that we as teachers need or even really want to know what any personal issues are, about why the kid is leaving our studio. Just at least send a letter saying they are stopping lessons and thank you for helping their child.
It is hard for me to imagine though, a parent not recognizing that the teacher-student relationship is more than a business relationship, and making some effort to thank a teacher for the effort, care, patience, time, and thought that goes into teaching. I think all of my parents have understood how much I care about my students and I just can't picture such an abrupt departure.
Sometimes it is a good idea to take the emotion out of interactions - but this is an example of how it can be taken too far. Yes, there should not be emotion things like piano policies. BUT, who does not express happiness to see a child at each lesson, joy when they have achieved something they thought was beyond them, disappointment with lack of practice. Who does not think, outside of a lesson, what it is that will make that child tick, what rep will be the thing that makes them fall in love with the piano. We all care tremendously. The parents of my students who have discontinued lessons have all expressed gratitude to me for the work I have done, and regret that their child decided not to continue. I cannot imagine getting an email saying "We are not returning". Some where along the line, this parent decided this was the appropriate way to deal with this. I'm sorry that happened!
Working on: Chopin: Barcarolle Schubert: Sonata D959 Rachmaninoff: Daisies Lutoslawski: Paganini Variations for 2 pianos
... In business its common for people to switch to a different phone company with zero notice; to switch brokerage firms with a mere phone call and expect you to try and win their service back, or the phone call is to notify you that they have switched and here is where to send their money.
The problem art professionals face who teach is that they expect parents to appreciate the skill and understand that a certain level of respect is required of them because of what you bring and what the culture of this art requires. All they see is your legal business contract per semester and that they have to pay you money and that you arent doing this out of the goodness of your heart or it would be free and therefore as a business relationship that the contract and costs stipulate it to be, they may go into leaving your service the way they do a faceless corporation. Also it's easier than telling you they lost their job and cant afford you anymore which isnt any of our business anyway.
Unless you are spending time with their family in a serious way I wouldnt be too heart broken about a lapse in manners, ... It's just business.
I don't know if you're a student or a teacher, but either way I find it sad that you equate piano lessons (or any kind of teaching, especially the ones that are one-on-one!) to these faceless business ventures.
I teach out of my home. I often find myself struggling to maintain a balance between business and "social" aspects of teaching. The fact that students come into my home, meet my kids, my cat, my husband (not necessarily in that order - they usually meet the cat first), and just generally feel a bit like they are "visiting" makes them sometimes feel affronted when I remind them of an overdue balance, or ask them to leave at the end of lesson, rather than chat for awhile.
But it goes both ways. I work to be friendly, make them feel welcome in my home, ask about their days or their weeks. I teach beginners, and find that they learn better when they feel good about coming here, so I work on that. But - at the end of the day, as it were - I expect that relationship to mean that I will be dealt with friendly, reasonably, and mannerly. I am not a faceless bill in the mail, and to suddenly be "all business" is to make me feel taken advantage of and de-humanized.
... In business its common for people to switch to a different phone company with zero notice; to switch brokerage firms with a mere phone call and expect you to try and win their service back, or the phone call is to notify you that they have switched and here is where to send their money.
The problem art professionals face who teach is that they expect parents to appreciate the skill and understand that a certain level of respect is required of them because of what you bring and what the culture of this art requires. All they see is your legal business contract per semester and that they have to pay you money and that you arent doing this out of the goodness of your heart or it would be free and therefore as a business relationship that the contract and costs stipulate it to be, they may go into leaving your service the way they do a faceless corporation. Also it's easier than telling you they lost their job and cant afford you anymore which isnt any of our business anyway.
Unless you are spending time with their family in a serious way I wouldnt be too heart broken about a lapse in manners, ... It's just business.
I don't know if you're a student or a teacher, but either way I find it sad that you equate piano lessons (or any kind of teaching, especially the ones that are one-on-one!) to these faceless business ventures.
I think you have missed my point perhaps. If the person you are giving lessons to stiffs you and doesnt say thank you and just leaves or sends a curt message then that is a sad moment indeed.
If a 2nd party is paying you, not the student themselves (and you really dont have a relationship with the paying party), then I wouldnt be suprised if they don't feel honor bound or beholden unto you to give an indepth explanation.
More than likely they probably did have a good relationship with you and its like breaking up with someone you have been going out with for a while, there is no easy way to do it with out feeling some hurt or the possibility of hurting you or being weak and somehow being talked into continuing lessons so the easy way out is to just make it quick and painless (for them).
More than likely they probably did have a good relationship with you and its like breaking up with someone you have been going out with for a while, there is no easy way to do it with out feeling some hurt or the possibility of hurting you or being weak and somehow being talked into continuing lessons so the easy way out is to just make it quick and painless (for them).