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My favourite test of successful teaching of brand new beginners: "Are they still doing music - any kind, any instrument, with any persons?". Ann in this case the answer is Yes! so you have succeeded in giving child a love of and engagemnt with music. A good start is very very important.

It is hard to say goodbye isn't it. Glad you're feeling more peaceful.

Thank you Canonie for your post. What an encouragement to me this morning as I begin the day with a cup of decaf coffee!

It's hard to lose a student, Ann. I had a student for half a year, right when I was starting out, who quit. There were clear attitude problems with this 6th grader, and she clearly did not want to taking piano lessons. I ran into her dad a few weeks ago and he told me that she was now studying with someone else (a popular teacher who I have inherited a few students from as well.). I was just a little taken aback. My reaction, of course was "Oh, I'm so glad she's studying again". But I couldn't help but analyze if it was me, or the time in her life, or what. I didn't spend much time on it, and quickly let it go. But those of us who have not been teaching all that long(I've just finished my 4th year) I think do tend do be a bit insecure about these things.

Carol

Thanks for your support Carol. Here's a update: The parent leaving is going to e-mail me contact info for the new teacher. And he said "You are an excellent teacher for beginners...I tell all my friends you are an excellent teacher for beginners". Maybe that will be my niche, but I surely hope to take kids through levels 2 and 3.

Insecurity comes and goes for me. Then I try to imagine how I'll feel after having 3 more years of teaching experience. I'll have a clearer picture of where my strengths (and limits) are, and more confidence.

That's a good attitude to have! Unfortunately, the longer you're in the teaching business, the more you're going to run into these scenarios. I have to keep reminding myslef that, the student comes and goes, and will quit piano eventually within ten years. But you'd have to deal with the same colleagues for much longer than ten years. It's healthier to develop a professional relationship with colleagues than to burn bridges and/or to hold on to grudges, etc.

It is a very wise policy to maintain a professional, positive attitude towards students and families who leave. Parents talk! If you badmouth, word will get around, and you'll wonder what happened.

Yes, parents and students do "talk" indeed. I have had transfer students say negative things to me about previous teachers.(and stuff is probably said about me, too). I think it's important to not get caught up in the negativity. In the case of transfer students, find positive things to say about what their former teachers did with them and go from there.
Ann and Carol, it's still hard for me when students leave and I have been teaching for several years. Call it insecurity, whatever it is, it hurts to lose students unexpectedly and makes us question ourselves. Is questioning ourselves as teachers a bad thing? I don't think so. We are constantly learning and growing.

This also extends to the teachers who are on the receiving end of transfers when it comes to the previous teacher. We know at least two examples of families who have switched teachers where the new teacher has had very uncomplimentary things to say about the previous teacher (not necessarily the person but the results of the teaching). Understandably, there are different teaching styles, performing styles, etc that are likely to be in conflict, but there is a big difference in saying to a new family "my pedaling technique differs from your previous teachers" vs "your previous teacher taught you how to pedal incorrectly". Parents do talk (as teachers also talk about parents/students) and openly disparaging other teachers also doesn't present a teacher in the best light either (though from a practical standpoint, there are definitely a class of parents that are definitely swayed by such talk, esp once things start getting competitive).

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Ann and Carol, it's still hard for me when students leave and I have been teaching for several years. Call it insecurity, whatever it is, it hurts to lose students unexpectedly and makes us question ourselves. Is questioning ourselves as teachers a bad thing? I don't think so. We are constantly learning and growing. [/quote]

Hi Barb860. It was a surprise to hear that questioning ourselves continues...and that it's not necessarily a bad thing. Makes sense.

Another update: Yesterday I had 3 evening students/parents who are particularly appreciative, and my outlook today is bright. Today I am focused on choosing materials that current students will soon be using...and some that will be new for me to teach which is a lot of fun. So the focus is on students I have. I slept well (instead of being dogged by anxiety)--the enthusiasm I feel over current students is edging out remorse over the one I'm losing. Plus it is so nice to work with kids/parents who are whole heartedly on board with me.

Glad to hear that you slept well - that's always a good sign! Keep the focus on the good things you are doing right now with your current students. I hope your week continues to improve

Thanks Canonie!

Sounds like you are going through a normal process, Ann.

I just found out today that I am losing another student. She was one of my very first students and has done well, but is going into high school and doesn't think she'll have time. I understand her choice. I was doubting whether or not she would find any time at all to practice, so I think teaching her would have been frustrating. I feel like I am starting to feel the 'cycle' of piano teaching - they get pretty good, and they give it up. Start more beginners.

So here's another topic: my studio is pretty much where I want it as far as size, but after having a waiting list for the last 3 years, I have had absolutely NO calls or inquiries in about 6 months! I don't know if it's the economy or what!

The "circle of life" metaphor at work...

One of my colleagues describes her job as taking her students as far as they can go in music. We just hope that music doesn't end when lessons end. For me, I learned to enjoy the ride while it lasts.