Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Sad suggestion from daughter's psychologist...

+1

And two examples of amazing and successful musicians who have limited music reading skills:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcHNZVrxEts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-prHX8IjYE

Your psychologist would probably have advised Stevie Wonder to take up basket weaving

Is this a school psychologist? There is more to knowing a child than running a battery of tests. This "diagnosis" is awfully vague. For example, a student of mine (same age) struggled with spelling and as a teacher I called in the school psychologist. One could say that he had "non verbal difficulty" (which doesn't say much) but specifically he saw the letters all at once and could not settle down to lining them up in his mind one after the other. Not being able to sequence is common. The psychologist brought in an old manual typewriter. The boy had to strike one letter at a time, pay attention to which letter he was striking, and coordinate his body. All of that aligned things that were not aligned, and he started to progress.

The typewriter was a simple thing. It had a huge impact on his self esteem because he started to be able to spell. He also got some social status since he was the Keeper of the Typewriter which others got to use too. In contrast you're being told to major changes in your daughter's lifestyle: stop a mother-child activity that she enjoys where she is succeeding, and enroll in a group of strangers.


That is her performance on specific tests. So what does it imply? What skills or abilities are weak, and how will this affect real life things? If they do, what do they propose to do about it. It is unlikely that her life depends on doing puzles or that she will ever be called upon to build complex designs with blocks.

One thing that seems missing are her STRENGTHS. There is no mention of what she does well, where she excels.

PianoDad hinted to it, but playing piano actually helps with spatial IQ, and it sounds like this is the very thing that she has difficulty with. It will exercise her brain, even if she may not become the best reader ever (I won't say she "wouldn't"). The brain has amazing power. It' snot like a non-functioning liver that cannot be repaired. It can learn and grow, and everyone has a limitation as to how well thy will be able to do anything.

Personally, I'm terrible at sports, but I think that if I actually practiced at it, I'd get better. I certainly wouldn't be a great athlete, but I could be better than I am now if I wanted to be.

Thank you all for the helpful and thought-provoking discussion. I do not think I will stop piano with her, as she does really enjoy it and seems to derive some self-esteem from playing (she will go spontaneously to the piano). This is in spite of the fact she can't read a note. I am looking into guides to increase her social contact. Her little sister wants to be a brownie - argh! more chauffeuring
It is hard for me to make sense of the psychological testing and its implications for her further development. THe nonverbal learning of 75 was a shock, all other parameters high 80's to low 90's (not great either) and some ADHD features. Not good news, I will have to let it gel for awhile.

Have that test and others repeated sometime in the future.

You said you cried at the meeting when you heard this. What did the doctor say or do about that? Did you get a chance to talk about your reaction? Did you get a chance to say that you very much are going to continue in your music making time with your daughter? There are so many ways to find enjoyment and satisfaction in music besides reading from the music page at the piano. Don't discount music from your lives as it is a form of therapy also and perhaps some of her needs can be met through music as therapy to promote well being and inspiration for her.

The doctor is approaching this completely from an academic achievement focus and telling you what is unlikely to happen; the more important focus is "What "can" happen musically?"

Use this together in music time to help elevate yourselves in appreciation of the world of music and appreciation between yourselves. Obviously if you are teaching her, you play the piano and perhaps have other talents that are in the arts. If only for 15 or 30 minutes a day, you can accomplish a lot by communicating with each other.

This is an area of interest that could lead to a specialized career for you - have you considered that?

One other thing my thoughts bumped on was the "exam" she would be ready for in 3 weeks. You might want to consider whether that works for her or not - pleasure/displeasure - not just the ultimate grading of it. I think your activities could have sensational results if you will focus on the pleasures in music and not the hard parts and the grading of things. Some things take a long time to learn and there is no immediate clue that what is planted is going to bloom. But, over time, things often click and connect and she should be given that opportunity. Over time is the goal here - throughout her childhood - not just the today of it.

Best wishes to you and your daughters!

Betty

Yeah, I can't help but feel that it would be a mistake to ditch reading simply because of a diagnosis. While you hear about success stories from the odd genius who can't read, it must be said that reading usually makes life substantially easier. I wouldn't instantly give up on it- any more than someone with dyslexia ought to be advised never to try reading or writing. To leave it out might impose a limitation where, even if she doesn't take to it as quickly as some, it might have been perfectly possible to work through it.

An important thing to remember, especially if the psychologist did not mention it, is that 100 being average does not mean you have to score 100 to be in the average range. 100 is simply the middle of "average" or "normal". 80's and 90's are still normal, just not at the high end of normal. If she is doing great with piano keep it up. Music may turn out to be one of her strengths whether she learns to read music or not.

You've gotten a lot of terrific advice on this thread, and I particularly liked Morodiene's comment here. The problem with psychological tests and diagnoses is that they too often become a mental straitjacket where people think they are (a) infallible, (b) unchanging, and (c) possess enormous predictive power. In reality, they are none of these things. What they ARE good for is helping to identify sources of difficulties people might be having with their lives and suggesting areas for intervention.

I'm secretly rooting for a miscommunication, because it would be discouraging indeed to hear that a psychologist used a test score as a basis for discouraging your child from pursuing a hobby she is finding rewarding. In any event, let me add to the chorus of those who are saying that you should trust your knowledge of your daughter and continue with piano as long as that is rewarding to her.

I agree with Horowitzian here... If she enjoys it, she should go ahead. Tell the psychologist you want her to enjoy what she is doing, not to become a concert pianist...

totally keep teaching her. It will only help.

i sense a bit of shock in your post. I adore my brain damaged brother... he is the best person I know.

i taught him to play years ago.

i teach (have taught some unusual people).. i really like the challenge of constantly trying to figure out what makes them tick and how to teach them.

peace and good luck

Update on my daughter's piano - we elected to keep playing and she earned First Class Honors on her RCM Grade 1 last week. It was very encouraging for her, and we will proudly display the certificate when it arrives. Thanks to everyone for their words of wisdom!

Hooray!

What a remarkable story. Thank you so much for sharing it. Congratulations to your wonderful daughter and to you for your very wise decision.

There was a study done not too many years ago at the University of Irvine, Ca. It took preschoolers and divided them into groups. One had just computers, one dance, and one music/singing. The group the furthest behind was the computer group. The one that blew the others out of the water in every learning ability way was the music combined with singing. Tell your psychologist to do a bit of study and research himself before he makes suggestions that can possibly do more damage than help. Way to go!! You and your daughter both deserve a certificate. Keep it up!!! Congratulations!

If you and her are enjoying the playing together, and she isn't getting frustrated or complaining that she can't do it then why stop. Teach her to play by ear, and by rote if reading is difficult for her.

Ahhh... She's fine!

There is a fantastic musical world without reading notation and theory. Just look at Ray Charles... In my opinion, she may even be at an advantage. Not having any focus on the 'eye' aspects of music may fine tune your daughters ear. Having a good ear in music is very beneficial.

Also, if she enjoys it, End of story. She is already a winner. There should be nothing else to gain for her.

Also in my opinion... psychologists ... are great at putting labels on symptoms.. And In this case your psychologist seems to want to simply stop the symptoms from occurring.. ERRR... ?

If smiling is one of the symptoms... then forget your psychologist.