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I boobed in performance last month on a Chopin Etude. I broke my own rule of always being able to visualize playing the entire piece perfectly, note for note. Adrenaline can't touch that. It's ten times the practice effort to get it into your head like that, so I was being lazy. No great disaster, but I was disappointed.

I am exactly the opposite. I love performing music in public... but would rather die a thousand deaths than speak in public

In most cases of public performance (apart from exams or competitions) the audience is there to enjoy the music. They will forgive small mistakes and hesitations - and most people in a ordinary audience don't notice the odd wrong note - missed beat and so on.

It sounds as though there is a degree of perfectionism holding you back. There is a part of you that believes unless you can perform without error - your performance will inadequate... and the negative self-talk and 'what-ifs' start to take over.

99.99% of the time none of the disasters we dream up ever happen while performing... and even those things that feel disastrous at the time are any near as bad as we believed them to be.

I remember one competition I played in - on organ - and half way through my 10 min piece my legs began shaking uncontrollably - which made playing the pedals incredibly difficult... and controlling the dynamics with the volume pedal was a nightmare. All I could hear was a wavering volume... and to me - it sounded just horrible! But listening to the recording later... it was barely noticeable... if it all. But at the time - it felt as though I was shooting from pp - ff without any control - lol..

Anyway... your goals for 2010 sound great! Good luck!

Many thanks...

I am a Virgo, which could be part of the problem

M

Oz Marcus
I wish you luck in your performing journey too. I sympathise with your position - I love performing and have enjoyed it over many years. But piano is another thing because so many notes go by so fast!! My first piano performance was helped by all that performance experience, but in a way it felt brand new; shaky, a bit out of control, baffling... If you already are comfortable with public speaking you have a good chance of enjoying performance after a good few handfuls of positive experiences.

One of the best ways to improve your performance is to be a better audience member. If you really are interested, engaged, moved, excited by listening to someone perform, it's not such a big step to return the favour.

Performance is like a big circle of listeners, then one of them steps into the middle and makes music for a while then steps back. You're all in it together, performance doesn't exist without audience. Our culture (particularly in classical piano performance) separates the two elements too much for my liking. Giving specific and genuine feedback to a performer (when you especially enjoyed it) is another way to be a better audience.

Performing is your chance to be generous. Choose music that you believe in - it helps me. And not everyone in an audience has to be moved by your piece either. Think of the one or two people who are very glad to hear this piece, it matters to them that you played. We are all generally happy to sit through some nice stuff, and then our moment comes and a musician plays our favourite. **just noticed that the previous paragraph describes... the ABF!

Hi, I am new to the forum and just started playing seriously again after 15 years. 6months ago I found a great piano teacher and am now preparing for my 5th grade piano AMEB exam and Grade 3 musicianship. I too am a bit anxious about performing in exam conditions, seem to play fine in my own company and slowly getting better when i play for my teacher. I am planning on putting on a mini concert for my family and neighbours about a month before i sit the exam in May - hopefully that will help and put my nerves at ease.

Enjoying reading the posts so far. I can't seem to find an aussie forum site for piano enthusiasts so will enjoy this one for now

There's plenty of Ausies to be found in THIS site, so enjoy your state mate!

(And welcome of course)

Gday Nikolas,
You are in London? Where abouts? I spent 18 months in Harrow and now back in Perth...

Andrew

Naldridge,
I haven't found one either.

This is the best one for interaction. The ABRSM is a bit slow in posting etc...

Seems like a lot of nice and knowledgeable people here.

Andrew

This strikes me as possibly a good idea for some, but I think it has the exact opposite effect on me. I am usually a fantastic audience member in terms of paying attention, of wanting the performer to do well, and trying to be as flexible and open a listener as possible. But at the same time, I can get very intensely focused on the the performance, and I feel horrible when something goes awry. For example, it's terrible, really wrenching, when a performer has a memory slip that I notice (which most of the audience may not). I can't help it, because I am identifying with the performer so much.

So, if I were performing and imagining myself in the audience, my feeling of responsibility to that imaginary self out in the audience would skyrocket because I would know there was somebody out there totally engrossed in my performance, someone who had really invested all of their attention over to it, and so was very vulnerable to any problems in my playing, large or small. Worse, what if there were many people out there who were vulnerable to whatever I did? Yikes!

Good point... ummm trying to work out why it works for me. I don't imagine myself in the audience when I perform, and I don't listen to myself from their perspective. The "being a good audience" happens over months and years, and prepares me to focus on performing. Yes, your thoughts point to the fact that plenty of confidence is necessary. I'ts important to believe in your chosen piece, and to believe in your telling of the piece. YOu are right that these thoughts would be very scary if you are not comfortable. Getting comfortable first is the priority, a bunch of performances where you notice that you are still alive afterwards, and even retain some friends

In the past, successful performance for me feels like your mind is in a large space that is filled with the performance and nothing else. I think it's a noticably different mental state, trying for complete musical focus such that outside stimuli (a cough, a sneeze, a flash of colour from the audience) are tiny objects on the edge of the horizon. At the end there is a subtle feeling of flumping down again. Maybe this state is only good for improvisation, without it I wouldn't be able to get improvisation to really fly. I'm raving...

There are lots of great points in this thread. Morodiene especially thank you for such a detailed post. The only thing I would add to Morodience's suggestions is to take a very brisk walk on the day of the performance. Get your heart rate up, get out of breath for about 15-20 minutes. This will help take the blunt off of the adrenaline that causes some of the physical manifestations of nerves.

I find that one thing people don't acknowledge enough is that performance is a technique, a skill, just a glissando or a blistering fast trill. Performance needs to be practiced, perfected, studied. If we get out of practice in performing, we get rusty (just like if we don't practice a piece for a while). And just like any other technique, ideveloping the ability to perform takes time. Put in this perspective, it's just another thing we have to work on and work at. If we don't practice our piece, we won't play it well. If we don't practice performing, we won't perform well.

One way to study is to read some of the many books that deal with performance and performance anxiety. I highly recommend the following:

The Inner Game of Music
The Art of Practicing
A Soprano on Her Head





Andromaque, I am an adult beginner (ok, not a beginner anymore, but started piano about 10 years ago as an adult). I have always looked for chances to play for others. Initially it was only in teacher's recitals. Then I used to have mini piano parties at my house. And I also would play whereever there was a piano available.

At the same time, I have always had dramatic performance anxiety, even in my living room with friends, I used to get the racing heartbeat, cold all over, and most difficult to deal with, terrible shaky hands. But I love music, and I want to share it with others. When a performance goes well, it's like nothing else. So that has been my motivation to overcome the anxiety.

Like many, I have my "train wreck" story, where I crashed and burned in a recital, made a fool out of myself by being visibly upset afterwards, and was upset about it for weeks after (even to the point of considering giving up the piano!) But that experience turned out to be an incredible opportunity for learning.

One of the things I learned was that part of the reason for my performance anxiety is that I care. I care about the music, I care about my own playing, and I care about the people who are there to listen to me. Being able to put that into words helped me understand myself and my commitment to music. And provided the motivation to treat performance as a skill to be learned. After that, I spent a lot of time reading (see above!) and made more structured opportunities for myself to play for others.

About a year and a half after my train wreck, I organized a recital myself, a fairly formal recital in that it was performed in a recital hall, with a few other musicians, programs, almost 100 people etc. I played 5 pieces (which is a lot for an adult post-beginner!) and although none were note-perfect, all the preparation I'd done really paid off. It was a great success, and most importantly I enjoyed myself and the people there enjoyed the music.

Since then, I have gone back to grad school (not in music!) so I'm not able to practice or perform at my previous level. But now I know that I can conquer performance anxiety, and learn to live with, and play through the physical manifestation of nerves. I still play for friends and play when I find a piano available. My hands still shake when I play for others, but it doesn't take over my whole experience and ruin my ability to share music with others.

Andromaque, that was probably more of an answer than you were looking for!

lots of good suggestions.



i really suffer from performance anxiety and I have played publically for 40 years or so as church musician.

one thing that really helps me is recording myself. THere is something about knowing that you have to play a piece flawlessly from beginning to end that is 'the same' when recording. (i just use my digital camera.)

That said, being READY READY and totally prepared is key. Confidence is a great way to blow anxiety away. I find it very helpful to practice in non performance ways.. play in a different tempo with the metronome.. play only the first notes of a measure, play backwards, play the left hand in octaves with the right accompanying above (same notes).. shake things up.

Reading everyone's posts, at least one of the take-aways from this thread is:

A lot of people get performance anxiety. And we perform in spite of it. More importantly, most of us get through it and learn how prevent it from destroying our performances, and go on to get to a place where we can enjoy perform and get a lot out of it. That's quite a message of hope IMO.

I think this should be a reason to feel positive for anyone who's struggling with performance anxiety, whether you're just beginning or are a 40-year vetern like Apple!

now that i'm totally good on the piano (at least for church music), i have to play on the organ.. adding pedals to the music is a whole nuther story and reason to practice.

Thankyou to all who have posted on this topic. There have been so many good ideas and suggestion that have come out of this forum that I feel more confident that I can at least prepare for a public performance. I will keep you posted and let you know how I go...... don't expect feedback too soon though, I have 90% of the notes down, I just need another 6 months to get the last 10% of them under my fingers....

M

Lots of great stuff here. Just two additional thoughts in case Oz M isn't burned out with all this advice:
1. Susan Jeffers ("Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway") points out that any time we do something new it will involve fear. So, growth involves fear. But doing scary things also increases our comfort zones. I remind myself about those ideas as performance dates approach and it makes me feel more willing to take the challenge.

2. Did anyone see this article? http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2493/is_2_58/ai_n30909033/ from fall 2008 in AMT? Bill Moore talks extensively about the difference between practice and performance skills and how to develop them. Fantastic.

Good luck everyone!

Many thanks TeresaD,

that looks interesting. I will have a read of it tonight.

Marcus

I was reading a letter from Czerny where in he has this to say about this Thread:

"Your worthy teacher has acted very properly in early accustoming you to play occasionally before others. At first, this, as you write to me, was very disagreeable to you, and you felt much frightened in so doing, 'But now,'say you, I think nothing of it ; nay, it generally gives me great pleasure, particularly when all goes off well.'

And there you are quite right. To what purpose do we learn, but to give pleasure, not only to ourselves, but also to our beloved parents and our worthy friends? And assuredly there is no higher satisfaction than in being able to distinguish oneself before a large company, and in receiving an honorable acknowledgment of one's diligence and talent.

But to bring matters to this point, we must be thoroughly sure of our business ; for want of success is, on the contrary, as vexatious as tormenting and disgraceful. Above all, you must select, for this purpose, such compositions as are fully within your powers, and respecting
the good effect of which you can entertain no doubt. Every difficult piece becomes doubly difficult when we play it before others, because the natural diffidence of the performer impedes the free development of his abilities.

Many half-formed players imagine that every thing will be right, if they do but step forward at once with a difficult piece by some celebrated composer. But by this means they neither do honor to the composition nor to
themselves ; but merely expose themselves to the danger of exciting ennui, and, at best, of being applauded from politeness and compassion, and therefore of being blamed and laughed at behind their backs. For, even with regard to amateurs, persons avail themselves of the right to blame when they have not received any pleasure ; and, in fact, who can take their doing so in bad part ?

Many, otherwise very good players, have in this manner, by an unsuitable choice of pieces, lost both their musical reputation and all future confidence in themselves. When playing before others, you should
particularly endeavour to execute your well-studied piece with tranquillity and self-possession, without hurrying, without allowing your ideas to wander, and more especially without coming to a stand-still ; for this last is the most unpleasant fault which we can commit before an audience.

Before you commence, the fingers must be kept quite warm ; you must avoid any inconvenient mode of dress ; and you should, if possible, always play on a pianoforte with which you are well acquainted ; for an instrument, of
which the touch is much lighter or much heavier than that which one is accustomed to, may very much confuse a player.

But, besides professedly playing before others, it may often happen that you are suddenly required, in the company of intimate acquaintance, to play over some trifle to them. It is very necessary, therefore, Miss, that you should study and commit to memory a good number of little, easy, but tasteful pieces ; so that, on such occasions, you may be able to
play them by heart: for it appears rather childish to be obliged, for every trifle, to turn over one's collection of music ; or, when in a strange place, to be always obliged to draw back, with the excuse 'that you cannot play
any thing by heart'

I would lay a wager, Miss Cecilia, that you have been so situated ; is it not so? For this purpose, short rondos, pretty airs with variations, melodies from operas, nay, even dance-tunes, waltzes, quadrilles, marches, &c. &c. are perfectly suitable ; for every thing does credit to the player which is well played.

As it is very proper to let a little prelude precede any musical composition, you must have by heart a number of this sort of pieces,in all the keys. You will find the means necessary for so doing in my Pianoforte School,as well as in many collections of such preludes.

The playing before others has also the great advantage, that it compels one to study with unusual zeal. For the idea that we must play before an audience, spurs us on to a much greater measure of diligence than if we play
only to ourselves, or to the four senseless walls."

I thought I'd comment on my experience after the fact. My approach is to plan as many details as I can so there are as few surprises as possible. So here are some random observations:

Through years of experience, I have learned how to talk back to negative thoughts, at least to some extent, as the performance time approaches. So for example, when I dread missing a note, I say to myself, "So you'll miss a note -- don't let it throw you. Just keep going and be musical and expressive." In fact, I did mess up the first big shift (i.e., it wasn't perfect), but all the others were good. With this mental preparation, I was able to move on.

For the concert I just played, I debated with myself about whether to use the music or play the piece from memory. I decided to play from memory because I think I play this piece better that way. I was confident that I knew it well enough because I could play it mentally, including fingerings, bowings, counting (which beat each note fell on), and dynamics, and I had played it from memory at the orchestra rehearsals without a problem. And in fact, from the memory standpoint, the performance went perfectly -- I had no slips or hesitations.

I always go through a debate about what to wear, but for this I chose my most flattering and comfortable black dress, and I fixed my hair so that it wouldn't get in the way at all. This helped because I did not have to expend any thoughts while I was playing on being uncomfortable or whether I was dressed appropriately.

The day before the concert, I had a mini-disaster with the skin on a fingertip splitting. It was painful, and I could hardly play. I worked out a solution that involved soaking my hands in hot water, applying some glue-type stuff to the split, and moisturizing. By Sunday afternoon, I was able to play without pain, and I completely forgot about it during the concert.

One advantage nonpianists have is that we can sit backstage with our instrument and warm up until just before we go out. I spent the 15 minutes or so I was waiting playing two-octave scales and arpeggios softly and in a very relaxed way, with loose hands. It helped me stay calm.

One funny thing happened: We were playing in a church where there's not a lot of room for the orchestra. I was set up on the floor directly in front of the orchestra in the aisle between the first rows of pews, with the conductor in front of me. I had checked my tuning and was ready to start, when a woman who was on the left-hand side suddenly decided she needed to be on the right-hand side, so she got up and scuttled right in front of me, almost tripping over my endpin.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. I hope it is of some interest.

If you want to hear the performance, there is a recording on my blog.

D4v3
Thanks so much for Czerny's letter. I find it fascinating and incredibly "fresh" a couple of hundred years later. The proverbial "teaching that stood the test of time" I guess..
May I ask what was the source of the document ?

Shiro
I have only now noted your response. Many tahnks.