Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Forum Piano ads with funny/unusual wording

Two from Piano Mart to start things off:

1. A new one today featuring a "vertical upright"
2. One nice piano was really on sale...the price was listed as $0!

I'd really like a horizontal upright - so I could play in bed. One on sale for $0 would be perfect.

LOLOL!!
Redundancies are cool.

If you're into baseball, you might like this one, which was actually said by one of the Yankee interviewers:
"......gland slam home run with the bases loaded....."

....which is actually a double redundancy, because "grand slam" already includes both "home run" and "with the bases loaded."

And a price of 0 sounds pretty good.....

....and here's one of my favorites, when it comes to announcing "sales":

"......with discounts of up to 70%."
That says nothing, because "up to" means the discount could be less, or even no discount.

.....and it's even better when they say:
"......with discounts of up to 70% or more."

"Vertical upright" sounds nowhere as weird as "vertical grand".

Vertical grand may sound weirder but there are such pianos.

I guess there are!!!
But they haven't made them in like over 100 years, have they?

(I have a feeling I'm about to learn something else new.)

Well, let's see if I can learn it 'myself.'

This is from a site called pianomusic4you:

"Over the years there have been many attempts at "improving" the piano. One such experiment was to replace some of the wooden action parts with plastic. It didn't work, they cracked with age. (If you own one of these pianos, you might want to check out Piano Tuners to get it repaired or even Piano Dealers to replace it). There were many other ideas that tried and failed including the Jensen piano which had 2 keyboards, a vertical grand, one that had a keyboard that was more like a typewriter and many others."

I'd love to see some of these.

P.S. I tried to find a picture of a vertical grand and couldn't (I mean not easily -- I only spent a couple of minutes), except for a few like the one at the bottom of this page:

http://www.wymanpiano.com/gallery/vertical.html
Image of piano: http://www.wymanpiano.com/gallery/gimages/wv132hpes.jpg

....which isn't what we're talking about (I don't think).

>>"......Its extra large soundboard area and longer bass string length produces more volume and provides the tone of a parlor grand piano..."<<

There we go!!!!!
Nice.

P.S. Looks like my estimate of not-in->100-years might be close....

BTW the picture of that girl at the piano is SO 1950's.
Although actually it could almost be 1850's too.

Holy cow! What a creepy looking piano!

Something about that piano frightens me!

What makes that piano different that just a really tall upright? presumably the hammer/string orientation on it is the same as an upright

It did look like it would just love to eat that delicious little girl.

That would be an upwrong, wouldn't it?

Do a Google search on the two words giraffe piano (without quotation marks worked fine for me) to see pictures that look even more like an upwards grand.

While googling for that I also found this other thing:

http://www.mofcomic.com/comics/2008-10-28-Giraffe-Piano.gif

The Janko keyboard is the "Typewriter" type piano. Bluthner just make a new one.
I just posted about that under the "Lefthanded Pianos" thread.
Here are some more pictures of the original pianos. They had great merit but did not last but 20 or so years. Several brands made some in Europe and the US.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Janko_piano.JPG
http://orgs.usd.edu/nmm/lewison.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janko_keyboard
http://improvise.free.fr/janko.htm look at the quoted by Lizt AND Rubinstein
http://squeezehead.com/uniform-keyboard/ very good article with pictures.



Here is the picture I took of a new one being made.


http://squeezehead.com/uniform-keyboard/ha1.jpg

this piano looks like a b*tch to move!!!!