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Thanks, John. That was the very worst experience I have ever been involved with in all my teaching years. It was one of those very inopportune moments. Afterwards, I realized I needed to first of all preserve my own sanity and sanctuary of my home at all times.

The second most troublesome thing was in the last few years when a lady made inquiry for herself and her teen age son saying that she was transferring from someone I know. Then there were a few phone calls over about a six month period asking questions and some would come in by email. We finally got our interview time about six months later. She paid tuition and started lessons - we had 2 - 3 lessons together and I was concerned about her because she started telling me about the previous teacher and why she stopped lessons. The teacher (she said) had emailed all of her students asking for prayers for herself because she had been abducted by aliens and raped repeatedly. Really? The son was sitting on the couch waiting for his mother and started laughing his head off without making any noise - the mother couldn't see him. As I know the teacher and respect her musicianship I just couldn't think - it wasn't the least bit funny and it really made me wonder what I had got myself into with the woman sitting on the bench. She could tell I wasn't going to gossip and that I found this offensive. I finally said to her - this is an ethics problem for me to hear such a story about someone I know and that I didn't want to hear any more about it.

She looked around and saw her son still laughing but trying to hide it, and she said, "Fine then. I'm giving you 30 days notice starting right now!" They grabbed their things and left and I never saw them again.

The only other story I have is about the young boy who had a pet in his shirt pocket that I didn't know about and it ran up and down the keyboard and into my lap and up my arms. I thought I'd die from the shock of it. He laughed his head off. His mother and father weren't too happy about his joke either.

One more story, a girl about 9, started to look just awful - I said, "Are you OK?" She said "Yes" and promptly threw up big time on the floor missing the piano, herself, and me. She cleaned up in the adjacent bathroom, Mom came and picked her up as usual, and I got to do the cleanup.

Sometimes, I think the students should give the piano teacher ribbons and medals for superior service and such things - like going the extra mile - and smiling when you'd rather "bop them" one.

"...she started telling me about the previous teacher and why she stopped lessons. The teacher (she said) had emailed all of her students asking for prayers for herself because she had been abducted by aliens and raped repeatedly. Really? The son was sitting on the couch waiting for his mother and started laughing his head off without making any noise..."

I don't suppose anyone would care to top that alien abduction story--- even if they could. I confess, I might have been tempted to the guilty pleasure of drawing her out on the subject, on the "give them enough rope" theory. No doubt you were wiser not to go there.

It sounds like a curiously banal reworking of the old standby, "the dog ate my homework." It also sounds like the lady may need professional help. I have a neighbor who is such a habitual liar that she doesn't seem to care anymore whether her stories are even remotely believable. Somehow, this tale calls her to mind.

As for those other beauties, who never again graced your studio, all I can say is that Someone is looking out for you. I'm sure you don't deserve people like these in your home, and I'm certain they don't deserve you. You get an A++ for your personal deportment.

I'm trying to think of the right words to describe this, and nothing seems just right. What, a scene from Klingon opera? A bad Kabuki theatre plot? A bald and threadbare daytime drama, still airing after ten seasons too many? Backstage at Woodstock? A nightmare brought on by a bad cream puff? (You could change dreams: "I dreamed I threw them out by the scruff in my MaidenForm bra." Maybe some of our members are too young to remember this ad campaign, but the idea of fantasy fulfillment of personal power is clear enough, without buying the undergarment.)

Quite so. The money that goes on my kids' music lessons -- they play a couple of instruments each -- is a substantial chunk of the household budget. Running to time should be item number one in teacher school. It isn't even really possible to make up for a late start with a a late finish, because very likely your students or their parents or siblings are going straight from the lesson to some other commitment.

I don't think there's really any alternative to a policy of firmness, as other people have indicated. You'll certainly lose customers very quickly if they feel they aren't getting their money's worth.

Betty, I think I am at a loss for words... All those stories are exhausting just to think about. Maybe never seeing these people again is for the best (except for disturbing lack of closure). They obviously all needed more time to sort out lives... I assume the vomitter still comes but only when healthy. I hope your studio is full of darlings, dear souls and the generally pleasant for the next few years.

My new students are always drawn from friends, neighbours or family of existing students, sometimes colleagues, or they might be directly connected to me. I'm beginning to realise that there are some benefits to this! When I taught in a school it was not always so pleasant - it was hard sometimes, just to have good communication.

Jeff,

I think the reason I must have posted all that "junk" was so that you could make me laugh my head off! All of that was true seen from the standpoint of today which is all several years later. I do think the universe takes care of my needs and that what happens that seems disappointing happened in order to prevent worse difficulties for medown the road. I also believe the messages were more for the awakening of the other women about things going on in their lives.

Canonie,

I think it must be a pleasure to have friends you already know in your studio to work with. You are already in a relationship that matters to each of you. I have had some of those experiences, but the majority of my students have always been complete strangers to me. Our community is many different cities and school systems easily accessible and not one town where everybody knows everyone. Also, there are a tremendous number of churches many of the same denominations within 8 or more miles of each other so there are many choices of lifestyle for all walks of life. Diversity, I think you would call it.

I have to make relationships become significant. At some point, we start to feel like a member of a larger musical family, but they don't come in the door with that in mind.

I do not enjoy teaching when there is a communication or distance problem - too polite - unavailable - that kind of thing.

And, since these lessons take place in my home - a treasured spot in my life - I expect them to make themselves comfortable here and to add to my comfort level - not to subtract from it.

Betty

Easy to laugh, Betty, now that a few years have washed by... and you probably have a new carpet. It could have been worse: the young lady could have hit the piano. So there's a ray of light even through the storm clouds. I hate to chuckle over such low comedy, but what else can you do, finally.

Kevin has a very good point: the lesson time is a protected and inviolate space--- short of the house catching fire, an earthquake higher than a 4 on the Richter, or a meteor strike. I would grant an exception in those cases.

Not only do piano lessons cost good money (which, personally, I gladly paid), but time is even more precious; all the money in the world can't call back a single second. I think the young teacher was put in a bad spot. I'm sure she'll make the parent understand that the respect given to the incoming student's lesson time also protects her own child's.

Speaking of which, when the Nisqually quake struck back in 2001, a modest 6.8, I dashed over to keep the bookshelves from toppling onto the Grotrian grand, while my two studio pianos shook so violently that they were playing themselves.

What an awful experience that was, John. I can imagine it and it's horrifying. Were you alone or with students?

That day, I was at a church where I was the musician preparing organ music for Easter. My good friend, a piano teacher and organist was helping me find good registration for the music I was playing and we were going to go out to lunch when we were done. This was in Puyallup Valley which is built on a sandy base and everything shook madly - absolutely frightening when you are playing the organ and all of a sudden the chandeliers in the church are wildly swinging. Then you feel it and hear it - what? An earthquake. My friend and scooted for cover from the church windows which were solid glass wall near the organ. We landed in front of the organ with me falling on top of her when she suddenly landed on her knees. When it was over we were really shaking from the experience. She went home to her house to check for damage, I did the same - driving very slowly - and there was little damage at either home - picture frames and items on the floor. We forgot about lunch totally. And, I never played that organ again - you couldn't get me back on that bench for the love of money. The don't realize how high you are sitting and that there are no places to put your feet without making lots of groaning sounds as you try to scamper away. Falling off an organ bench was a miserable experience as well as every other impression I had of the sky is falling and the earth is opening up. And, I'd been in many earthquakes in California before that Nisqually one but this one was totally "shocking" to my nervous system.

Glad you avoided damage, John!

I'm one of those teachers with a somewhat elastic sense of time, and have had both types of teachers, and definitely prefer the ones who have some flexibility. With my teachers, I pay for an hour per teacher, but going 1 1/2 to 2 hours is not that rare, especially with my piano teacher. So unless I have to be somewhere else at a particular time, I'm not that strict about time, though have made minimum 45 min required for several years, except for the very youngest beginners. And I have some students who take 90 min lessons. But I charge a somewhat higher fee than many teachers in my area just so I and they can have some flexibility.

Meri

John that sounds so scary!

Betty, I meant that new students are connected to current students (friends and relatives), so they are new to me. I don't know everyone in this city! But it allows them to fit into our piano-community easily. And yes I agree that a community feel makes it easier to invite students into your own home.

Betty, at the risk of hijacking the thread, what was unusual about the Nisqually quake (and we live right on top of the epicenter) was that it lasted so darn long. That was the longest 45 seconds of my life.

No, I don't teach in the morning; I had finished practicing, and was sitting in the chair next to the fire place reading when it hit. I rushed to get the tv on and the quake was just hitting Seattle. Kind of spooky!

The psychological after-effects were kind of weird. Flying was unsettling; every bump made me think we were having another quake, an obvious impossibility at 39,000 ft!