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Well said, Morodiene!

"Teachers don't like hearing *complaints*, period."

No doubt. But, would you rather hear the complaint to your face, in a private setting--- or read about it here? Or hear about it fifth-hand from someone else in your town or school?

Teachers--- sorry guys--- can suffer from arrogance and personality problems, or can simply be ineffective and trying to cover it up with bluff and bluster. And about as often as I've seen that, I've seen students who couldn't bother to show up for class, do the reading, finish the assignments--- and then blame their poor performance on the teacher, who "doesn't like me; I just don't know why."

I can't make out what the real story is, from the information we have. The only thing I'm quite sure about is that eight years old is probably way too young for conservatory life, and it seems to me the kid (and the mother) would do better with a well-qualified private teacher, who understands how to work with young learners and their parents.

Golly, to me the adversity we're hearing about here can be prevented I think.

When one thing comes to mind that needs to be discussed - discuss it by opening the door for understanding 1) why there is concern, and 2) negotiate to a decision by considering what can be done about it.

It is when one thing is added to another thing that "the ball of wax" starts forming to outrageous proportions never intended and totally unnecessary.

Self control and courtesy is a good starting point to conduct any important conversation.

We have to communicate effectively together in support of the student. Keeping an "open door" to hear these kinds of things helps it not get out of hand in the first place.

When questions and answers are at odds with each other and the "fur starts flying" and we make irretrievable comments that we might later "kick" ourselves for.

And, empowering students to speak up for themselves is something that I completely advocate. They very much need to be involved and consulted while the adults in their lives make big plans for them.

The student's well being is the most important part of the equation in my book.

Betty

He's at the conservatory bc;

* he loves classical music
* he loves chamber music
* the local teachers could not teach him (he gave his first piano teacher panic attacks)
* he's dying to play in an orchestra
* he needs ensembles to play his compositions
* he meets other kids as smart as he is
* he works with teachers who really inspire him

he would be so sad if he lost all this. But changing piano teachers was so traumatic for us that he didn't want to go back until just now.

Betty, there is something else here too. A lot of the "chemistry problem" between my son and his last teacher was also a culture clash between the teacher's class/intellectual status and his parent's class/intellectual status. My son could not relate too well to the man bc his upper class manners/demeanor were so unfamiliar to him. My son is going to have to become comfortable with a class that is much higher than that of his parents if he is going to succeed at the conservatory (even the students there come from upper class intellectual homes). For example, a family friend sometimes took my son to the conservatory when I had to work and she almost caused a lot of trouble --- she told him his classmates were "nerds", and his teachers were "full of it", and that his classmates were "horrible musicians". she would moan all day "oh G-d, I hate classical music", and she would shout out at recitals "he's the best!" whenever my son played. My son found her antics absolutely hysterical and he was so bummed when we banned her from the conservatory!

Regarding the ten year old child, she writes:



and



Wow. Not sure how to editorialize on it. Just - wow.

Sock? If so, hats off - well played.

Sounds like I did not explain things well. I'm not playing a joke on anyone here.

My son, like any young child, is going to find an adult acting like this funny (our friend who cracked jokes at the conservatory) even if he does not agree with her point of view, and as long as no one hears it or is hurt by it. We never predicted that she would act like this! She loves our son dearly. But we feared her jokes would spoil his enthusiam for the place, so we hired a grad student to replace her for babysitting.

I mentioned this friend's antics to illustrate the social barriers to succeeding in a conservatory environment (eg. class differences).

At first, we did laugh at the culture shock our friend was experiencing at the conservatory, until we realized why she was acting so strange: ten years ago, she was homeless and she had to live in a homeless shelter with her ten year old son for one year. I think it was very painful for her to walk the corridors of the conservatory and see ten year old kids who have never known such hardship.

I don't really understand much of what's being said on this thread, or how the various facts that are presented relate to one another. Sorry

Sorry ma'm I think your handle needs to be "BusyBody" because your posts just look more and more trollish every day. As much as you'd like to convince us that the teachers are the problem, I'm not so sure anymore.

There is no reason for piano teachers to continue putting energy into this thread.

We have no ability to offer advice or to effect change when the OP is not listening to valid points that have been made.

The story gets more and more erratic as it goes on and I consider the entire topic to have been a hypothetical scenario from the beginning.

Let's stop being "had".

Also agreed and I have yet to see the OP ask a question asked.

I am just a parent. Just wondering has your 8 years old son already decided he wants to be a pro musician? If not, is there a reason you want him to become one?

Did I read your posts right that your son takes lessons for piano, a second instrument for orchestra and composition at the conservatory? You also mentioned the students at conservatory come from upper class intellectual homes. That is kind of wired. Many of my friends kids take lessons at conservatories (we have 3 here). They are just middle class and not super rich either. The fee is about $65 or $70 for an hour lesson.

What kind of pieces he is learning currently? I think you need to give this information to the teachers here so they can better help you based on your son's level.

I have to admit I'm lost, too.

We have no specific information and don't really know what the question is.

"Conservatory" can mean a lot of different things depending on where you are. It could be anything from Colburn or Peabody's prep department to a private community music school to a non-profit community arts school to a Suzuki academy or a group of teachers who work at a music store. The teacher(s) in question could be almost anyone, from concert pianists to full-time faculty to part-time grad students from the local college.

The discussion of social class seems completely bizarre and irrelevant.

Then we have completely off-the-wall statements like:

"My son is going to have to become comfortable with a class that is much higher than that of his parents."

Huh?? Wouldn't you be the parent of your own son? It sounds like there are three parents - BusyMom, her son's mom, and her son's dad. I'm completely confused.

I think we've asked enough questions and given enough advice. The rest (classes, stereotypes that only rich nerds are musicians) have no place here. Time to move on.

Social standing makes a huge difference to how you approach the piano, as well as how we as teachers approach our careers. In fact, that's one of the reasons I direct my marketing to wealthy professionals who like ongoing learning. I've enjoyed the blue collar students I've had, and in fact came from a blue collar family myself. (My brother once attended his son's music festival and actually asked the adjudicator if he--the adjudicator--could play a little something for the audience. I just about died of embarrassment.)

They bring a joie de vivre that is matchless. But they don't always have the correct support at home to study piano for many, many years. They do have to overcome barriers to fit in the conservatory culture.

I can't believe how much collective energy has been expended on this thread. I suspect it's all for naught; anyone who hasn't checked the OP's posting history, or doesn't remember her handle from similar threads last year, should do so.

Steven

Wow. Thanks for the tip. I noticed on previous threads that teachers asked what level her children were playing. Even a list of accomplished pieces would help answers her questions but she was very evasive on that issue then as she is now.

The thread posted a year ago about the jealous parents and the public school music teacher who suggested BusyMom hide her sons talent so as no to discourage other students is very suspect. Either we are all being had as Betty Suggested or the OP’s perception is skewed.

I totally agree. And if you want to fritter away some more minutes of your life you'll never get back again, read Kimold's posts too - eerily similar...