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I can't be truthful about my personal details bc it can lead to my identification and that will not allow me to speak openly about my child's music education. there are not too many conservatories in the USA and not too many children who play at my child's level. So the chances of one of his conservatory teachers reading this and figuring out his/her identity is relatively high. I don't have multiple identities. Thanks for the warning though.

I think you need to take a less "hands on" role in your child's piano lessons.

Note: I try to disguise my identity in all my posts so I change genders, ages, locations, often so plz no accusations that I lie or am a troll. Thx.

Any conservatory piano teachers here who can explain to me why my request for a new piano teacher at the conservatory for a child who is a major talent has descended into a major trauma for all involved? The teacher feels slandered although I told everyone it was just a chemistry problem and maybe he worked my child a little too hard. I feel slandered bc this teacher has told the others on the faculty that I'm the parent from he'll which I am not. And my child is afraid to go back to the conservatory bc he knows his old piano teacher is very upset with him.

The main problem is one of just chemistry. The man is an excellent teacher and I feel very badly that my child never clicked with him. I tried to point out his good qualities but it's hard to get a 9 year old to appreciate things like professional reputation, access, dedication, etc. Plus the man is not too warm-and-fuzzy with young kids and my child kinda needs that.

Plus problems never got resolved when I talked to the teacher. He refused to take no for an answer, or he made me feel stupid for questioning anything he did or how he acted. I thought he didn't understand young children well -- for instance, he once spent 45 straight minutes on the fingering for just measure of music alone with an 8 year old child. I took piano lessons at age 8, and I would have broken down and cried if my teacher did that.

So are we finished at the conservatory merely bc we bruised an important teacher's ego? I didn't tell him in person that we wanted to change teachers bc I didn't want to listen to him try to talk me out of it and I had already made up my mind (plus my child was adamant about not continuing lessons with him so I knew I had to make a change). I feel horribly guilty (and he made sure that I did feel this way too!)

This really takes the joy out of making music, and I think that's why my child wants to quit music for a year or two (he associates it with trauma and angst because of what this teacher put us though once he heard our request).

This really takes the joy out of making music, and I think that's why my child wants to quit music for a year or two (he associates it with trauma and angst because of what this teacher put us though once he heard our request).

I really am preparing him for a professional career in music.

Exactly what did you hope to accomplish here by your posting?

I can't imagine that your hysterics here are helpful to your child who as you say just 9 years old. When you said: "My child was adamant about not continuing lessons with him", could it be
your child was comfortable with his teacher and is now greatly embarrassed for his teacher to have been caught up in an argument involving his mother.

If your child hasn't expressed interest in changing teachers before your altercation with the teacher there is no reason to act upon it. If progress was being made and there was mutual respect between them they needed to keep that situation. If your child has not complained to you about anything occuring in the lesson you are in danger of destroying his self confidence and his future work.

No conservatory career has ever been helped by a parent making demands and accusation against a teacher.

Are you paying full tuition or is he a scholarship student?

I wonder if you have an idea of the conflicts you will create for your son if you don't learn how to talk to people when you need their assistance in creating a new scenario for your son?

This is serious stuff and when you say "trauma" and "angst" the only person whom I see showing those kinds of emotions to us is, unfortunately, you.

Your child and his talent is going to be undermined severely by things such as you've told us. I predict that your child will continue to be the middleman of a situation he has no control over. That alone would make him want to quit.

Actually I feel a little heartbroken at hearing this story.

It's a story where no body wins.