Welcome to the Piano World Piano Forums
Over 2.5 million posts about pianos, digital pianos, and all types of keyboard instruments
Join the World's Largest Community of Piano Lovers (it's free)
It's Fun to Play the Piano ... Please Pass It On!

SEARCH
Piano Forums & Piano World
What's Hot!!
Posting Pictures on the Forums
-------------------
Forums RULES & HELP
-------------------
ADVERTISE on Piano World
(ad)
Piano Tuning
How to Tune Pianos
(125ad)
Piano Life Saver - Dampp Chaser
Dampp Chaser Piano Life Saver
(ad)
Piano Buyer Guide
Piano Buyer Spring 2017
(ad)
4th Finger Enigma Resolved!
Schumann's 4th Finger Enigma Resolved!
Who's Online Now
114 registered members (alfredo capurso, Automata, anotherscott, amad23, anamnesis, 30 invisible), 2,022 guests, and 2 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
(ad)
Estonia Pianos
Estonia Pianos
Quick Links to Useful Piano & Music Resources
Our Classified Ads
Find Piano Professionals-

*Piano Dealers - Piano Stores
*Piano Tuners
*Piano Teachers
*Piano Movers
*Piano Restorations
*Piano Manufacturers

Quick Links:
*Advertise On Piano World
*Free Piano Newsletter
*Online Piano Recitals
*Piano Recitals Index
*Piano & Music Accessories
*Live Piano Venues
*Music School Listings
* Buying a Piano
*Buying A Acoustic Piano
*Buying a Digital Piano
*Pianos for Sale
*Sell Your Piano
*How Old is My Piano?
*Directory/Site Map
*Virtual Piano
*Music Word Search
*Piano Videos
*Virtual Piano Chords & Scales
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
#1245896 - 08/08/09 08:02 PM Re: Problem with a parent - Advice please [Re: Candywoman]  
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 214
pianogal37 Offline
Full Member
pianogal37  Offline
Full Member

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 214
To respond to Candywoman, I have no concerns regarding how my son is doing at piano now that I am teaching him. He enjoys it much more, and is making excellent progress in both theory and practical.


Bach French Suites No. 6, Allemande and Gigue, Beethoven's Pathetique, Chopin Nocturne 72/1, Fantaisie-Impromptu, Debussy's First Arabesque, Takacs Toccata Op 54, Rachmaninoff Etude-Tableau 33/8.
(ad)
Piano & Music Accessories
piano accessories music gifts tuning and moving equipment
#1245911 - 08/08/09 08:20 PM Re: Problem with a parent - Advice please [Re: Candywoman]  
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,876
Piano*Dad Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
Piano*Dad  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,876
Williamsburg, VA
Candywoman,

You are free to teach using whatever methods you choose. You are also free to think that every parent who works with their child is a caricature of the 'helicopter parent' that the contemporary popular media so warns us about.

Reasonable parents understand the need to allow children to grow independently. But as keystring tells us, there are many ways to help children develop into healthy and independent adults. And independence is only one virtue. Knowledge and skill acquisition is another.

Lastly, families can walk and chew gum at the same time. A parent can sit in on some lessons or assist at some percentage of the student's home practice time without turning the child into a helpless and indecisive appendage. If you raise 'independence' to the chief and only virtue you can sometimes wind up with a self-indulgent failure who doesn't know what achievement really is. Yes, I know that this is a caricature as well, but it is just as plausible as the failed helicopter child of the pop psychologists on morning TV these days.

I happen to value achievement. (Yes, I'm sure you do too). I also think that rapid achievement is an ally to developing true independence. I'm willing to grant that there may be many paths to that virtue. I'm not willing to accept that the only way to that virtue is for parents who happen to have useful skills to become furniture while their children struggle with complete independence.

As bitWrangler notes, Gary has posted very sensible and practical thoughts:

Quote
The answer is simple. If more is learned with a parent present, observing in lessons and helping at home, I WANT the parent there.

There are very few parents who want to be in the lessons week after week, as the weeks turn into months and the months turn into years. Often the younger students tell their parents that they feel they are ready to work only with me.

In general, the amount of things that my six year-old students can either get wrong, between lessons, or not absorb completely, in lessons, is huge. I weight parental involvement totally on whether or not the parent is helping.




#1245945 - 08/08/09 09:44 PM Re: Problem with a parent - Advice please [Re: BrizzyGrace]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,110
Morodiene Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
Morodiene  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,110
Boynton Beach, FL
Originally Posted by BrizzyGrace
Hi,

I have a problem with a parent and I am hoping that you may be able to help me handle this in an appropriate manner.

I have a mother, who questions my teaching and picks me up on minor things just about every week.(One example - I was chastised about writing in the "wrong place" in the homework book. I accidentally did not write on the very next clean page.)

She is also heavily involved with the children's practicing, and, on occasion, has the children (there are two) working ahead in the book and doing what she thinks they should be doing and not what I have asked that they do.

This constant scrutiny is really getting to me and slowly eroding away my confidence.

I am a mature-age student teacher (teaching under supervision - still studying with an excellent teacher).

This parent knows of my student status and I am wondering if this is influencing their behaviour towards me?

I really enjoy teaching the children and they are coming along nicely, however this parent is really getting under my skin and I can feel the flutters of anxiety starting, days before they come for their lesson.

I put a lot into my teaching and I take it very seriously. My parents sit in on the lessons and this is non-negotiable (as per my request).

All suggestions gratefully received,

Best,
Grace




Sorry I'm a little late to the discussion. I have had families like this in the past. One that I can think of would question a lot of what I taught her daughter. I let the mom know that it undermined me as an authority and prevented the daughter from learning at all, resulting in her wasting her money. If she was paying me to be the teacher, then she has to let me be the teacher.

I think you need to have a good one-on-one with the mom (preferably with no kids present) to let her know this. Don't even mention the pointing out of mistakes specifically, because I hardly think that skipping a blank page is worthy of even mentioning. Really what she is doing is trying to put you down, and looking for anything she can find to do it. Let her know either she trusts in you and your judgment, or she should find another teacher that better suits her needs.


private piano/voice teacher FT

[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
#1246029 - 08/09/09 02:23 AM Re: Problem with a parent - Advice please [Re: Morodiene]  
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,383
jotur Offline
Gold Level
jotur  Offline
Gold Level

Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,383
Santa Fe, NM
Glen R -

From a math teacher to a math teacher -

Amen!

Cathy


Cathy
[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
Practice what you suck at - anonymous
#1246107 - 08/09/09 09:57 AM Re: Problem with a parent - Advice please [Re: jotur]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 130
Glen R. Offline
Full Member
Glen R.  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 130
Alberta, Canada
Originally Posted by jotur
Glen R -

From a math teacher to a math teacher -

Amen!

Cathy

Hey, another math teacher! Nice to hear another one who agrees with me!

Last edited by Glen R.; 08/09/09 09:59 AM.

Be the person your dog thinks you are.
[Linked Image]
#1246118 - 08/09/09 10:26 AM Re: Problem with a parent - Advice please [Re: Glen R.]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,110
Morodiene Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
Morodiene  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,110
Boynton Beach, FL
In response to the idea of parental observation (and I mean observation, not intrusion), I think it depends on the family dynamic. In the past I have had parents that desire to sit in on lessons due to the comfort level of the child. I have allowed this and there were no problems.

However, one boy who was particularly insecure (his mother is a principal at the middle school) insisted that mom was there all the time. I let this go for a while since I wanted him to be comfortable. However, after a while I felt that he needed to learn to be a bit more independent. This boy is in 3rd grade, by the way. So I suggested to mom that she stay for a bit and then go shopping, or leave for a few minutes during the lesson. Eventually he became more comfortable and less insecure in himself. I don't think mom was a helicopter, but I do think that there was a bit too much dependence on her in general with regards to playing piano. He needed to learn some self-reliance, that he could do it himself, even if he made mistakes. He's gotten much better and is less nervous during lessons, although if I don't see him in a while the nerves come back. It's a process, but it has been only done with the cooperation of the mother, both of us being on the same side. Without that, no learning will happen with the child.


private piano/voice teacher FT

[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Ken Knapp 

Piano Acc. & Gift Items in
Piano World's Online Store
In PianoSupplies.com ,(a division of Piano World)
our online store for piano and music gifts and accessories, Digital Piano Dolly, party goods, tuning equipment, piano moving equipment, benches, lamps Caster Cups and more.


Free Shipping* on Jansen Artist Piano Benches, Cocoweb Piano Lamps, Hidrau Hydraulic Piano Benches
(*free shipping within contiguous U.S. only)
(ad)
Pearl River & Ritmuller
Ritmuller Pianos
(ad)
Pianoteq
PianoTeq 6 Out now
(ad)
Lindeblad Piano
Lindeblad Piano Restorations and sales
ad
Pierce Piano Atlas


New Topics - Multiple Forums
Realtek ASIO. Anyone used it?
by Marcos Daniel. 10/19/17 04:35 PM
Damper lift adjustment
by Beemer. 10/19/17 03:56 PM
Aberrant velocity on one key
by MacMacMac. 10/19/17 03:39 PM
Anyone Play Classical Music on Keylab 88
by StrangeCat0. 10/19/17 01:01 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums44
Topics182,378
Posts2,665,708
Members88,990
Most Online15,252
Mar 21st, 2010
(ad)
Accu-Tuner
Sanderson Accu-Tuner
Check It Out!
There's a lot more to Piano World than just the forums.
Click Here to
Explore The Rest of Piano World!!
Visit our online store for gifts for music lovers


 
Help keep the forums up and running with a donation, any amount is appreciated!
Or by becoming a Subscribing member! Thank-you.
Donate   Subscribe
 
Our Piano Related Classified Ads
| Dealers | Tuners | Lessons | Movers | Restorations | Pianos For Sale | Sell Your Piano |

Advertise on Piano World
| Subscribe | Piano World | PianoSupplies.com | Advertise on Piano World |
| |Contact | Privacy | Legal | About Us | Site Map | Free Newsletter |


copyright 1997 - 2017 Piano World ® all rights reserved
No part of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0