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#1150039 - 01/31/08 01:18 AM Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,099
Theowne Offline
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Theowne  Offline
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Posts: 1,099
Toronto, Canada
I've been working on this as a sort of entry for a composition course at the conservatory (not university conservatory, just local). It is finished so I am building up my courage and posting it here. Please, listen/enjoy/dislike/critique or just laugh and walk away!

Prelude No.1
"Jour de pluie sur les landes"
"Rainy Day on the Moors"

Mp3 file
http://www.omohide.com/theowne-originalcomposition-prelude1-rainydayonthemoors.mp3

(That's me playing it).

Sheet Music
http://www.omohide.com/theowne___preludeno1_rainydayonthemoors.pdf


http://www.youtube.com/user/Theowne- Piano Videos (Ravel, Debussy, etc) & Original Compositions
音楽は楽しいですね。。。
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#1150040 - 01/31/08 03:41 AM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
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jgoo Offline
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jgoo  Offline
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Seattle, Washington, USA
Beautiful! It really does give me the sense of a light rainfall in many sections of this piece. Bravo!


For off-topic discussion, please feel free to visit www.coffee-room.com
#1150041 - 01/31/08 11:48 AM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
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8ude Offline
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8ude  Offline
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Very, very impressive. Debussy would be proud... My only criticism would be that it maybe sounds a bit too much like Debussy - so it may be seen as not original enough. But that said, I wouldn't change it - you've got a fantastic piece there and you should be proud of it. Very nicely played too.

Good luck with your conservatory audition.


What you are is an accident of birth. What I am, I am through my own efforts. There have been a thousand princes and there will be a thousand more. There is one Beethoven.
#1150042 - 02/01/08 03:15 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Jan 2008
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umbrellasky Offline
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umbrellasky  Offline
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Posts: 9
wow this is beautiful. So much imagery!

At the beginning it feels very positive I can see the moors, the sky so dark above my head yet I can picture the sun in the distance trying to break through the clouds, then suddenly the rain gets heavy, but still the sun prevails and the rain becomes gentle.

#1150043 - 02/02/08 08:36 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,099
Theowne Offline
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Theowne  Offline
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Toronto, Canada
Thanks for the kind words! Yes, I suppose the influences are obvious, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it (I like your sig, 8dude, even if it's a tad egoistical - but they, he certainly had the right...).

umbrellasky, thanks for sharing your interpretation of it. I really enjoyed reading what came to your mind as you heard it.


http://www.youtube.com/user/Theowne- Piano Videos (Ravel, Debussy, etc) & Original Compositions
音楽は楽しいですね。。。
#1150044 - 02/06/08 05:05 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 128
dave18 Offline
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dave18  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 128
California, USA
Wow, that's pretty impressive. No, it's very impressive! smile And the score is beautiful! Sorry, I don't really know enough to provide a useful critique, but I would think that this would be a great entry for a composition course. BTW, did you play that piece as well? Whether you did or not, it's beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

dave

#1150045 - 02/07/08 02:51 AM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,514
Nikolas Offline
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Nikolas  Offline
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UK
Hi Theowne,

I also have some comments. smile I hope you won't mind... (it's more like feedback).

The performance is very nice, the recording as well. It depicts something of older piano recordings which is very sweet and right on spot for me on this one. Not 100% clean, but this is much better! Well done on your playing as well, it's not an easy piece by any chance. smile

The scores looks also very clean, very nice and very well planned. However I have to say that there are several places I felt a little bit weird about the score (mainly about the rhythm).

I just felt (while listening that is 3 times in a row, cause it's a great piece!) that the time signature changes (meter changes) from bar to bar almost where rather... unecessary.

For example. bar 7 and 8. You have 5/4. I felt that it would be better to just have 4 bars of 3/4 (as the previous bars) instead of the 2 bars, since the last beat of each of the two bars is always molto rit. or held up, and you actually put a fermata long enough to be counted. That is that in your playing you didn't play 5/4 but more towards 6/4 and I'm wondering if this would uncomplicate things.

Like wise bars 9 and 10 could very well be 3 bars of 2/4 (since the phrase is also in twos and not in threes). No reason why not to go in 2/4 mode early (because of the later bars).

bar 13 you don't keep the dotted quaver long enough in your playing, so much that I had trouble counting and had to check in my keyboard to see how it really goes.

bar 16 could be divided into 3 bars of equal length (3/8) and a fermata on the 3rd bar, since it's rubato either way.

And so on.

Do keep in mind that this, of course, is my opinion and there is no right or wrong. It's just something to think about. smile

Bar 58, the "slow then accel." there is a way to notate that in more contemporary scores if you wish like this: [Linked Image] (I know how to do it in Finale, but not sibelius or any other program, if you're not using Finale, so I can't help there).

The score IS filled with details which are necessary and it shows quite clearly that you put A LOT of effort into it, as well as that you have a set mind on what exactly you want. smile Just thought I'd give you the heads up as an "external performer" and how people might see the score.

The composition is extremely nice and talented! It shows that you know what you're doing and that you have talent for it, as well as a brain inside your head (you went for a solo piano piece, which you can also record, not something else impossible to perform wink ).

In short very very well done and I hope you'll excuse the feedback on the score. smile

Now, I'm off to print off the music and share it with my wife, who also plays the piano. THANK YOU!

#1150046 - 02/07/08 06:29 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 100
MissT Offline
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MissT  Offline
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Posts: 100
Quebec, Quebec
That's a wonderful piece!
I was wondering if you would like to share how you developed your song. Direct to paper or iterative work on an improvisation? Did you start with the theme, or did it come afterward? Choice of tonality? etc.

The name sounds much better in french smile


Grotrian-Steinweg 160 #98923
#1150047 - 02/08/08 12:21 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 498
Larisa Offline
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Larisa  Offline
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Posts: 498
Philadelphia
Ahh, very nice. Very pleasant to listen to.

#1150048 - 02/08/08 10:29 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 231
Ozor Mox Offline
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Ozor Mox  Offline
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Posts: 231
Hampshire, England
I love this it's brilliant.

#1150049 - 02/09/08 10:05 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,099
Theowne Offline
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Theowne  Offline
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Toronto, Canada
Nikolas - thanks a lot for your suggestions. A lot of them make sense and a few of them made me feel a bit stupid - should have thought of it myself. I'll definitely be making some changes to this piece according to your critique. I don't know what I was thinking when I made bars 9&10 3/4. whome I should say though that certain time mess-ups (for example a missing held eight note or so) are usually just due to my inability to play my composition the exact same way twice smile Anyways, thanks - I posted this composition here and in the "hey pianists" thread in the Pianist Corner hoping to get exactly this kind of response. Compliments are nice but in-depth responses to the music are great, both from listeners and pianists.

MissT - I begin with the melodies. The two main melodies (or themes) are what I had first. I also knew generally what kind of sound I wanted to have and it basically just went from there. I never really chose a tonality specifically, the melodies I write just happen to be in those keys when I think them up. I play and figure out everything at the keyboard before trying to write it.

Others - Thanks for the compliments smile


http://www.youtube.com/user/Theowne- Piano Videos (Ravel, Debussy, etc) & Original Compositions
音楽は楽しいですね。。。
#1150050 - 03/22/08 12:20 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 446
Rach.3Freak105 Offline
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Moorestown, NJ
Very beautiful! I enjoyed it very much! It has inspired me to start another one of my own compositions.


Once during a concert at Carnegie Hall, the violinist Rachmaninoff was playing with lost his place in the music and whispered to Rachmaninoff, "Where are we?" Rachmaninoff replied, in all seriousness, "Carnegie Hall".
#1150051 - 03/23/08 08:27 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 244
gaffster Offline
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gaffster  Offline
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east central florida
Theowne, that is a killer work !!!

I really liked the bass riff around 1:05.
Sorta like Gershwin doing an Arabesque.

Please forgive the need for us to conjure up comparisons, perhaps this is natural because music builds on the shoulders and accomplishments of those who were before.


-cheers!!!
#1150052 - 03/23/08 08:52 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,099
Theowne Offline
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Theowne  Offline
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Toronto, Canada
No need to apologize. I'm not arrogant enough to think my composition is not influenced by music I have heard/played. Thanks for the comments!


http://www.youtube.com/user/Theowne- Piano Videos (Ravel, Debussy, etc) & Original Compositions
音楽は楽しいですね。。。
#1150053 - 03/24/08 09:51 AM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,296
Steve Chandler Offline
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Steve Chandler  Offline
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Posts: 3,296
Urbandale, Iowa
Hi Theowne,

What a wonderful piece. The overall texture is very light and you've done a great job of finding contrasts within that feel. Great playing too. It's all very fluid and makes a completely enjoyable listening experience. You've already received great suggestions from Nikolas.

You had two places where you injected what I like to refer to as harmonic surprises. There were probably more, but bars 31 and 71 stood out for me. In the first you went back to your starting key, the second used the surprise to modulate to F. Nice job!!

Sorry I can't find anything critical to say. I'll be shocked if this piece doesn't win something. Keep us informed.

#1150054 - 03/24/08 07:18 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 231
Ozor Mox Offline
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Ozor Mox  Offline
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Posts: 231
Hampshire, England
Theowne, do you have any other compositions? I'd love to hear your other work. I actually now consider this to be one of my favourite pieces!

#1150055 - 03/25/08 02:47 AM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: May 2007
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Bkek Offline
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Bkek  Offline
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Berlin
Very beautiful. I will look forward to your music in the future. Do you have a myspace page? Or a classical lounge page?


"Men have not found the words for it nor the deed nor the thought, but they have found the music." Rand
#1150056 - 03/25/08 10:38 AM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Apr 2006
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JohnEB Offline
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JohnEB  Offline
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Posts: 754
Belgium
That's really very accomplished in both composition and performance, and I can only agree with the previous comments. The slightly bluesy - harmonies stood out as not quite fitting with the rest of the harmony, but that's a minor quibble. I loved your final chord.


John
#1150057 - 03/25/08 03:45 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,099
Theowne Offline
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Theowne  Offline
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,099
Toronto, Canada
Thanks for the comments....I don't have a website specifically related to music but whenever I have another composition ready I will post it here. I wasn't aware of any bluesy harmony as I (unfortunately) am not too experienced with jazz/blues. Could you point out what you're referring to?


http://www.youtube.com/user/Theowne- Piano Videos (Ravel, Debussy, etc) & Original Compositions
音楽は楽しいですね。。。
#1150058 - 03/25/08 06:02 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 754
JohnEB Offline
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JohnEB  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 754
Belgium
Quote
Originally posted by Theowne:
I wasn't aware of any bluesy harmony as I (unfortunately) am not too experienced with jazz/blues. Could you point out what you're referring to?
I was referring to bars 35 - 41 where you have the g natural/g sharp.


John
#1150059 - 03/25/08 06:06 PM Re: Prelude - "Rainy..--..moors' Critique!  
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Theowne Offline
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Theowne  Offline
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Posts: 1,099
Toronto, Canada
Thanks, now I see what you mean. Thank you for the comments.


http://www.youtube.com/user/Theowne- Piano Videos (Ravel, Debussy, etc) & Original Compositions
音楽は楽しいですね。。。

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