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#1077984 - 07/13/06 10:19 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,047
Frank_W Offline
1000 Post Club Member
Frank_W  Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,047
United States
Ouch!! That makes me wince, just to think about! Poor Monica... frown


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
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#1077985 - 07/13/06 10:35 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 678
kokomo61 Offline
500 Post Club Member
kokomo61  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 678
Herndon, VA
When I was 6, My brother 'taught' me to ride a bicycle by putting me on my sister's Schwinn (thank God for the lowered top tube), and giving me a gentle push.....from the top of a hill.

I was OK at first, but as I picked up speed, I realized that I didn't know how to stop. Doing what comes naturally to a 6-year old, I started yelling as I rocketed towards a parked car. (Evidently, the ability to steer also left my consciousness once I broke the sound barrier).

There was a family having a cookout in their front yard nearby, when they noticed a screaming 6-year old re-entering the atmosphere from low earth orbit (at least that's how fast it seemed to me) headed right for their car. Everyone scattered, and I got stopped by the bike wedging its front wheel into the wheel well of their car. No damage to the car or me, but the fender on the bike was bent...and I think the handgrips still had indentations on them from my death grip....


All of which - I had to explain to my sister, since it was her bike....I'm lucky I was a fast runner.


Estonia 190, #6098
#1077986 - 07/13/06 10:55 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,047
Frank_W Offline
1000 Post Club Member
Frank_W  Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,047
United States
Haha!! The family must have been SO scared! LOL!

Sounds like my experience with snow-skiing. I had gone down the bunny hill a few times and coasted to a stop. My girlfriend at the time, said, "Whoa.. You're a natural! C'mon! Let's go the intermediate hill!"

We boarded the lift and got to the top. The wind was whistling around my head, and the first twenty-five yards of the slope were damn near vertical. I'm standing there, just about to turn around and say, "This probably isn't a good idea," when she plants her hands in the small of my back, yells, "GO!" and shoves me.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

I actually made it to the bottom, but I was going full-tilt and hit a low fence and smacked right into the lift line. Everyone fell like dominoes. No one was hurt, and I had to admit, the sheer speed was A LOT OF FUN!! So we went back up and I dropped off the edge again, this time, trying to zig-zag a little, so I could have more control, but my skis lost traction, and I hit an ice hump, which catapulted me OUT of my bindings.

I went UP, UP, UP, and then began somersaulting end over end. WHAM!!!! I hit the slope and bounced, my ski glasses going up and down, turning everything into a disco of "yellow white yellow white..." When the slick nylon of my suit finally quit acting like an out-of-control sled and I came to a stop, here came my skis... end over end... One of them planted itself like a javelin, between my thighs, perilously close to "the twins."

*shudder*

Scary... Very scary...


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077987 - 07/15/06 06:46 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 608
psychopianoman Offline
500 Post Club Member
psychopianoman  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 608
Oklahoma
All I have to say is frank; you are a wild man.

I do not know if it is very funny but here it is:

When I was around 16 me and my buds were drinking and there was this little punk kid that was around 13 or 14 that thought he was the coolest. He wanted some beer and we told him sure but first he needed to prove to us he was a "man".

Well, we told him he had to pass our situp test. We folded up a towel and and layed it across his eyes and pressed it to the floor. He tried to sit up but could not and we cheered him on.

While all of this was going on one of my indian buddies that was the biggest amongst us droppes his shorts and stuck his bare crack right over his face. He grunted trying as hard as he could to get up and we lifted the towel off his face and all you heard was a face smacking into a but crack.

Talk about brown nosing. It was perfect, his nose hit the target.

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#1077988 - 07/15/06 11:24 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,288
LiszThalberg Offline
3000 Post Club Member
LiszThalberg  Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,288
so you do have a dark side

#1077989 - 07/16/06 12:15 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 608
psychopianoman Offline
500 Post Club Member
psychopianoman  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 608
Oklahoma
Quote
Originally posted by Debussy20:
so you do have a dark side
Who was that reply to?

#1077990 - 07/16/06 02:39 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 217
keyboard samurai Offline
Full Member
keyboard samurai  Offline
Full Member

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 217
Hot and Humid Houston, TX
If we are posting childhood stories here, I am not sure the statue of limitations has run out yet.


okay, one of my stories involves

illegal fireworks from Mexico,

Nitrous Oxide pressured cans of whipping cream,

and one very dead cow.

enough said.


growing up in Oklahoma

not proud

so not proud


Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
#1077991 - 07/16/06 10:08 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,047
Frank_W Offline
1000 Post Club Member
Frank_W  Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,047
United States
LMAO, Psychopianoman! Too funny....


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077992 - 07/16/06 12:59 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 608
psychopianoman Offline
500 Post Club Member
psychopianoman  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 608
Oklahoma
Quote
Originally posted by keyboard samurai:
If we are posting childhood stories here, I am not sure the statue of limitations has run out yet.


okay, one of my stories involves

illegal fireworks from Mexico,

Nitrous Oxide pressured cans of whipping cream,

and one very dead cow.

enough said.


growing up in Oklahoma

not proud

so not proud
Yes, Oklahoma is great. The bordom as a child will drive you to do crazy things. There was nothing better to do than terrorize anything you could get your hands on.

#1077993 - 08/02/06 06:53 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 152
tolovemoon Offline
Full Member
tolovemoon  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 152
South Carolina
Quote
Originally posted by Frank_W:
Okay: The word for today, ladies & gentlemen, is "Percussive Vascectomy."

This occurs when your well-meaning parents buy you a bicycle for Christmas that you will "grow into." The only problem is that it's one of those big ol' beach cruiser ten-speeds and you can only touch the ground with your tiptoes. You go riding around, but everytime you hit the brakes, you slip off of that shiny new leather seat and bang your "nacho" on the crossbar. In fact, in a single day of riding around, you've done this so many times, that you're certain that you will never be able to have children.

Eh... Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything... laugh
You mean like this one....
[Linked Image]

laugh Yes this is me in my younger days!
My first brand new bike, a christmas gift...
My bike with a banana seat was demolished by my cousins so I rode my moms old blue bike that was as big as this one, maybe bigger. I think that she thought I liked her bike better, but the truth is the only real reason why I rode it was because atleast the other kids in the neighborhood noticed me. That bike got nicknamed the "Milk bike", cause it looked like the old style of bike a milk man would deliver milk with..
:rolleyes:
No one really much cared about bikes after I got my new one or maybe its just that I moved south and kids had that southern, friendly, charm... confused smile


Peace!
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