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#1077894 - 07/07/06 10:22 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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s54mo827 Offline
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Quote
Originally posted by Frank_W:
I was standing, minding my own business....
Well - at least you didn't garrote them.. ha and way cool you can understand the Japanese language...cool story....

Do tell us another one, Uncle Frankie. laugh (all in good time)...

Peace. smile

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#1077895 - 07/07/06 10:46 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Frank_W Offline
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Haha... I'm trying to stick with the tamer stories. Most of my others end up in fights. LOL

After coming back from Desert Storm, I was living in an Army housing area, in Japan. There was a guy living next to us who would come home every night, around 2 a.m., bass thumping, and then go in the house and proceed to have loud screaming matches with his old lady. Several of the neighbors had tried asking him to be more considerate, to no avail.

In early spring, all of the cats in the neighborhood went into heat. Competition among the males was especially fierce. Jerk-boy came home again, around 3 a.m., had a huge screaming match with his old lady, and then passed out or went to sleep... Whatever....

I went to the kitchen and opened a can of tuna. I also scrawled a polite note on a piece of paper, asking him to please keep his cRAP music turned down, and to quit screaming at his toothless crack ho of a wife, every night. (That's another story) I went out to his car, which was unlocked. (Army housing area: Safe, right?) I opened the driver's door and put the can of tuna on the passenger seat. I waited until three large tomcats had leapt in to investigate, and then slammed the door shut.

The noise was horrific...

I placed my polite message under his windshield wiper, and then went back in and went to bed. Two days later, he had a new car, and he was a much more considerate neighbor from then on.

I just love a happy ending... *sniff*


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077896 - 07/07/06 10:56 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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I'd come home from a late late medevac, and was trying to sleep, during the day. My rude neighbor's wife was in her house, with the windows wide open, and screaming at the top of her lungs at her kids.

I opened my window and yelled out, "HEY, YOU TOOTHLESS CRACK WH*RE!! QUIT THAT SCREAMING!! I'm trying to sleep!"

She stuck her (ghastly) head out of her window and said, "WHAT did you call me?!"

I looked her in the eye coolly and said, "I called you a toothless crack wh*re! I'm trying to sleep. Stop screaming at your loinfruit, over there!"

She said, "No one calls me that and gets away with it!"

I raised my brows and asked, "So, does this mean you've been called a toothless crack wh*re a lot?"

She muttered something and slammed the window, and I had a very nice nap.

smile


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077897 - 07/07/06 11:55 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by Frank_W:
Stop screaming at your loinfruit....!"
What the ?????

ha ha ha
Oh gee, man.... LMAO....

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#1077898 - 07/07/06 12:43 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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The whole family was a real piece of work. "You can take the people out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the people." *sigh*


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077899 - 07/07/06 01:09 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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(Come on, people! I can't be the ONLY one with stories!)


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077900 - 07/07/06 02:05 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by Frank_W:
(Come on, people! I can't be the ONLY one with stories!)
Okay, I have a story... but it's a kindly story (meek and mild, if you will). When I was like 12 years old I found a beautiful strawberry blonde tabby in the street. I look the cat into the house and hid her in my room. But I'm allergic to cats (dander) so it wasn't soon before my eyes became teary and I began sneezing. My mother suspected I was hiding something in my room. She looked and saw the cat. Well...I knew I would have to get rid of it... and soon (according to my mother). It was raining outside... and I didn't want to throw the cat out in the rain. So, I went out in back and made a little makeshift tent (with a wooden crate that I found and some plastic... it was really cool... it was like camping out... and I set the cat up there all nice and neat and comfy. I stayed with the cat, too, until my mother called me back in. I found out she had placed some calls and found the cat a temporary home... my mom had a soft spot and I'll never forget that... so the cat got a home and wasn't stray any more. The cat's name, the name I gave it, was Samantha. I always liked that name. I wrote that name, Samantha, on the metal frame of my bed in black ink that couldn't wash off... so I would always have her as a memory. That's my story. laugh

#1077901 - 07/07/06 02:17 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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I'll throw in a cat story, too -

When I was 7 years old (back before we invented dirt...), I was riding with my grandmother in her car. When we got close to her house, we discovered that her black-and-white long-haired cat had been struck by a car, and was lying, dead, by the side of the road. I was upset, as was my grandmother, but we went to the house, got a shoebox, collected the body, and buried it in her backyard (complete with a popsicle-stick cross as a marker).

Later that afternoon, I heard a scream from the kitchen, along with the crash of dishes falling to the floor. I ran into the kitchen, to see her black and white cat SITTING IN THE WINDOW!

We were both dumbstruck as to how that could possibly be, but eventually, we figured out that we buried somebody elses (identical) cat.......


Estonia 190, #6098
#1077902 - 07/07/06 02:18 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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That is really sweet, Sharon!

When I was a boy, a bird smacked into our kitchen window and was lying on the ground, obviously hurt. I went outside and picked it up, cupping it in my hands, and wondering if I took it to the vet if he would be able to help the bird. Suddenly, it seemed to sort of "wake up." It hopped up to my index finger, crapped in my hand, and flew away.

Hrmph... Gratitude... bah I gave the bird the bird. :p


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077903 - 07/07/06 02:19 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by kokomo61:
I'll throw in a cat story, too -

When I was 7 years old (back before we invented dirt...), I was riding with my grandmother in her car. When we got close to her house, we discovered that her black-and-white long-haired cat had been struck by a car, and was lying, dead, by the side of the road. I was upset, as was my grandmother, but we went to the house, got a shoebox, collected the body, and buried it in her backyard (complete with a popsicle-stick cross as a marker).

Later that afternoon, I heard a scream from the kitchen, along with the crash of dishes falling to the floor. I ran into the kitchen, to see her black and white cat SITTING IN THE WINDOW!

We were both dumbstruck as to how that could possibly be, but eventually, we figured out that we buried somebody elses (identical) cat.......
ha OMG... eek Pet Semetery! LOL


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077904 - 07/07/06 02:29 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Hmmm.....let's see.....well I cut school for two weeks when I was in the 6th grade....they sent the truant officers after me :rolleyes:


When I reach the place I'm going, I will surely know my way.
#1077905 - 07/07/06 02:37 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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For two whole weeks? Wow... We used to cut school all the time and go swimming in the Southern California Edison canal. A guy from Edison and one of the school's administrators were trying to chase us once. We laughed at them and flipped them off as we drifted down on the current. LOL


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077906 - 07/07/06 02:53 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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I think Frank needs his own thread.


markb--The Count of Casio
#1077907 - 07/07/06 03:04 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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ha Sorry... I have lots more stories, too. LOL


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077908 - 07/07/06 04:21 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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When I was a boy of 12, a buddy of mine came over with a pet mouse that his mother had bought him for his birthday. Well, at the time, I had quite a large and lazy Maine Coon cat. I was holding the mouse and petting it, and I began holding it out to the cat and then pulling it back. I did this a number of times, when suddenly, Tilly the Cat gave herself over to her baser instincts and gulped half of the mouse down her gullet. We ran after her in the hopes of rescuing the poor mouse, but Tilly wasn't having any of THAT!! She'd stolen it fair and square!

I looked at my buddy and he had big tears in his eyes.

I ended up buying him an identical mouse so his mom wouldn't find out.

frown

I felt badly. (And I swear, the damn cat was wearing a smug little smile)


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077909 - 07/07/06 04:32 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by markb:
I think Frank needs his own thread.
Ya think? ha ha

#1077910 - 07/07/06 04:32 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Frank_W Offline
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Okay... No more stories, for now. LOL


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077911 - 07/07/06 04:33 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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s54mo827 Offline
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Quote
Originally posted by Frank_W:
For two whole weeks? Wow... We used to cut school all the time and go swimming in the Southern California Edison canal.
Frank, I gets the impression you were quite a hellion in your younger days... a rebel, even. I just get that impression.

Tell us more stories, Uncle Frank! laugh


No.... (((((waaaaaaaaaaa))))) I want more stories... I want more stories!!!!!!!


(Sharon... composing herself... it will be okay)...
*giggle*
T.G.I.F.

#1077912 - 07/07/06 04:36 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Who, me? *smiling innocently*

My mom did something that ticked me off, so for revenge, I used furniture polish on the linoleum floor in the kitchen. She came through later, to do something, slipped, and landed on her backside.

I laughed and laughed.

I'm sorry mom. I'm so sorry....


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077913 - 07/07/06 04:38 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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s54mo827 Offline
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Quote
Originally posted by Frank_W:
Who, me? *smiling innocently*

My mom did something that ticked me off, so for revenge, I used furniture polish on the linoleum floor in the kitchen. She came through later, to do something, slipped, and landed on her backside.

I laughed and laughed.

I'm sorry mom. I'm so sorry....
You told us that one already..... but I bet you were sorry.... and ouch - that must have hurt!

Uh oh.... mean boss coming straight at me... I'm outta here... Cheers, you guys.

#1077914 - 07/07/06 04:39 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Oh man... I forgot that I'd told that one. (I must be getting old, turning into one of those annoying old farts that constantly tells the same stories over and over...) LOL


Compassion, Love, Strength, Peace, Dignity, Balance, Order
#1077915 - 07/07/06 05:46 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by Frank_W:
Oh man... I forgot that I'd told that one. (I must be getting old, turning into one of those annoying old farts that constantly tells the same stories over and over...) LOL
That makes you my mother, you know.... laugh whome


-Mak

1889 Mason & Hamlin screwstringer upright
Kawai MP-4 digital

---------------------------
When life hands you lemons, throw them back and add some of your own. Stupid life.
#1077916 - 07/07/06 06:13 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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ROFLMAO!!


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#1077917 - 07/07/06 06:31 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by kokomo61:
Later that afternoon, I heard a scream from the kitchen, along with the crash of dishes falling to the floor. I ran into the kitchen, to see her black and white cat SITTING IN THE WINDOW!
If I didn't mention it before, I'll say it now - THAT'S ACTUALLY HEART STOPPING FRIGHTENING.... I WOULD HAVE FREAKOUT OUT.

********and....

Rocky - I don't know about you....mmmmmmmmm (wondering).... I used to cry if the crossing guard threatened to report because I jay walked. I talked/cried my way out of it (good ole tears). So never mind being truant. hehehehehe laugh

#1077918 - 07/07/06 10:59 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by s54mo827:
Rocky - I don't know about you....mmmmmmmmm (wondering).... I used to cry if the crossing guard threatened to report because I jay walked. I talked/cried my way out of it (good ole tears). So never mind being truant. hehehehehe laugh
I had just changed schools and hated it! I was (and still am really) very shy. I just skipped one day, which led to the next and then the next and just kept snowballing. It's the only bad thing (well, maybe not the only) that I did as a youth. I was a perfect child otherwise laugh


When I reach the place I'm going, I will surely know my way.
#1077919 - 07/08/06 06:08 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by rocky:
Quote
Originally posted by s54mo827:
Rocky - I don't know about you....mmmmmmmmm (wondering).... I used to cry if the crossing guard threatened to report because I jay walked. I talked/cried my way out of it (good ole tears). So never mind being truant. hehehehehe laugh
I had just changed schools and hated it! I was (and still am really) very shy. I just skipped one day, which led to the next and then the next and just kept snowballing. It's the only bad thing (well, maybe not the only) that I did as a youth. I was a perfect child otherwise laugh
I believe you were a perfect child, Rocky. Well, for the most part. I believe you were a good child... as was I. As, really are most children. I'm sorry you had a rough time of it when you changed schools.... but it was just a short period of unrest... and then you got it together... or so (again... like the rest of us). And it still continues to this day... getting it together.... overcoming shyness... PRACTICING OUR PIANOS.... okay.....going overboard as usual.... but what the heck.... this is the "Off-topic" thread.... (smirk) so,.... have yourself a nice day, Rocky.... later.

Sharon smile

#1077920 - 07/08/06 08:55 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Sharon....I like you, I really like you (said like Sally Field) laugh


When I reach the place I'm going, I will surely know my way.
#1077921 - 07/09/06 07:52 PM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by rocky:
Sharon....I like you, I really like you (said like Sally Field) laugh
I like you too, Rocky. I also like my piano playing again (don't even ask.... let's not even go there....... but I do). Good rest of the evening to you, Sir. laugh Tip of my hat... I can tip my hat to you... even though I am the female.... to heck with the rules of society. *giggle* Enjoy!

#1077922 - 07/10/06 09:26 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by Frank_W:
Who, me? *smiling innocently*

My mom did something that ticked me off, so for revenge, I used furniture polish on the linoleum floor in the kitchen. She came through later, to do something, slipped, and landed on her backside.

I laughed and laughed.

I'm sorry mom. I'm so sorry....
Note to self...Don't tick of Frank.


"One's real life is often the life that one does not lead."- Oscar Wilde
www.youtube.com/Biffer5
www.peytonart.com

#1077923 - 07/10/06 09:27 AM Re: "OFF-TOPIC" post your stories here!!  
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Quote
Originally posted by Frank_W:
I'd come home from a late late medevac, and was trying to sleep, during the day. My rude neighbor's wife was in her house, with the windows wide open, and screaming at the top of her lungs at her kids.

I opened my window and yelled out, "HEY, YOU TOOTHLESS CRACK WH*RE!! QUIT THAT SCREAMING!! I'm trying to sleep!"

She stuck her (ghastly) head out of her window and said, "WHAT did you call me?!"

I looked her in the eye coolly and said, "I called you a toothless crack wh*re! I'm trying to sleep. Stop screaming at your loinfruit, over there!"

She said, "No one calls me that and gets away with it!"

I raised my brows and asked, "So, does this mean you've been called a toothless crack wh*re a lot?"

She muttered something and slammed the window, and I had a very nice nap.

smile
Note to self....Let Frank sleep. laugh


"One's real life is often the life that one does not lead."- Oscar Wilde
www.youtube.com/Biffer5
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