Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Adult Beginners Forum Will I EVER be able to play in front of people???

I am soooo discouraged about this! Yesterday at lessons at my teacher's church, a small group of youth walked in to get some things that they needed to practice with downstairs - I completely blew the piece I was in the middle of! These are CHILDREN, for cryin' out loud! I know these pieces backwards and forwards at home, but can't even play the simplest tune if someone's near enough to hear.

The session started badly anyway, as I had the whole hour to myself due to my daughter, who takes lessons, too, being ill. I was not prepared for an hour's lesson and just grabbed some extra books as fillers...and totally ruined every piece I'd been practicing here at home and doing fairly well on, here, I might add.

I recently had my name removed from even attempting evening offertories at church as I melt down all day at the thought of playing and the couple times I did, I messed up BIG TIME.

I hate this in myself and know I would have quit lessons looooong ago if it wasn't for my wonderful teacher, her being a saint and all...

I know there's not much advice for this and I'm just looking for sympathy, I guess. I'm beginning to hate Wednesdays...Liz

All I can say is that I think this reaction to playing for people is probably the rule rather than the exception. I expect that it is like public speaking, and that the only way to get over it is to do it. This includes learning that you actually survive the screw-ups and mistakes.

Hang in there!

Doug

Lizzy, what's your background been with recitals and other performances? Do you do them or avoid them?

Have you tried to play for people over the telephone, and how did it go? (I play for my mom and sister long distance to try to help with nerve control.)

Can you play when other people are in the house?

don't get discouraged. such things could happen to anyone. it takes time for you to get used to environment and people around while you are playing piano. as time goes by, you'd get better on concentrating only on your own playing... no big deal!

Ah... don't be discouraged Lizzy. From all I've read and from personal experience I think I can safely say that this is very normal. I know I sometimes get real excited after I finish a piece then call someone over to my room, "Look what I can do!" Then you start... and its like... "No, no, wait, lemme start over again. I have this piece down pat. Ugh, what the?! *sheepishly* My fingers must be tired... no, no wait, I got this, I played it all morning... Ugh.. screw it, nevermind, it was nothing." Happens to me all the time, even with pieces I can play on autopilot. Gotta learn to tame them nerves somehow.

Baby steps. Record yourself. (It's amazing how, when I turn the record function on, I feel some pressure.) Play in front of your daughter. Then add another family member or friend. Then add a few more. Take Cindy's suggestion and play over the phone. Just don't give up.

Of course, if you find that you really have no desire to play in front of other people, then disregard what I suggested.

Lizzy, I have this problem too. Can you answer a question for me? Can you sit down and play the entire piece left hand only? Can you pick a phrase in the middle of the piece and start from there?

The reason I ask is because at home, you are comfortable and many of us rely on our muscle memory to get us through the piece. This is called "motion to the ocean" where the vast majority of us just use the momentum of the piece of pull us through.

But what happens is that in front of people, or when you are uncomfortable, the momentum stops. The muscles twitch, or freeze. Then what? This is why the entire method of practice needs a complete shift of focus, from muscle memory to brain memory. Know the piece inside out from your brain, know what notes the left hand is playing at all times (try this: hum the melody with the right hand, and play only the left hands notes, see if you can do it). Once you know this, when people are around, you can focus on something, you can picture the notes from the page, the phrases you are trying to get across.

When the muscles freeze you want to be able to rely on your brain memory. It's far more secure.

I like that concept Mikester. I have certainly been guilty of relying on too much muscle memory in the past and have been trying to shift to more brain memory and true knowledge of the music.

Cindy, I remember you asking me in our interview about playing on the phone, but I never thought of it being beneficial for over-coming performance anxiety. Good idea.

Lizzie - all I can say is that, in my case, as I get older, I just don't care quite as much. I still want to play well or perfectly, but I'm happy playing. My hubbie commented the other day about how I freeze up if he sits down to obviously listen to me. But I have been trying to get him to do it more because it helps me overcome this awful thing most of us have. Don't beat up on yourself.

Lizzie,

I think we all have this problem in some form or another. I certainly do! I even have trouble memorizing now. Forum members have made a lot of good suggestions.

I have one more to add: I've done more solo singing than solo playing and I found if I concentrated on conveying the music to the audience rather than on how I was singing, it helped. There is a reason that you choose whatever piece you are playing. You liked something about it. Think about trying to get the audience to hear why you chose it. A wrong note here or there won't affect the overall effect. My voice teacher used to say "If you can sell the song, nothing else matters in a performance."

OK, if you're playing in a competition or for a rating...it probably does but how many of us are :-)

Mikester is right - you have to know a piece forwards and backwards, inside and out before you can count on being able to play it for other people. It helps if you can play the piece from memory, as well as looking at the music. You have to be able to start from ANY measure, or note, and play the rest of the piece from there (not from memory - looking at the music). One way to do this is to start with the last measure, then play the last two measures, then play the last three, and so on. Or just close your eyes and point, and then start from there.

Sometimes, with a difficult phrase, I start from the middle of the measure before it and practice those few difficult measures that way. Not only do you have to be able to get through the difficult phrase correctly, but you have to be able to get into the difficult phrase correctly as well. Once you are able to do all that, then you can count on being able to play the piece even if one part of you gets hosed up. For example, if you freeze up and your muscle memory leaves you, you still know the notes by looking at the music. If you freeze and lose your place in the music, your muscle memory (because you have it memorized) can take over til you find it again.

Once you know a piece that well, you can work on controlling your stage fright, but first, you need to realize that you don't HAVE to play for anybody else but yourself if you don't want to. If piano gives you great joy, but it's wrecked by the thought of playing for others (besides your teacher) then don't play for others!

I do understand completely where you are coming from. I was fine playing for others up until high school, when I developed terrible stage fright - my hands would start to shake during recitals. All the way through the piece. It was AWFUL. But there are ways to beat it if you really want to. There is a really good book out there called "A Soprano on Her Head" by Eloise Ristad. There is a good chapter about stage fright, and also an interesting one on sight reading. It helped me.


A Soprano on Her Head

Good Luck!

Jodi

I just want to add another vote to what Mikester and jodi have said about the different levels at which you can "know" a piece.

I'm still amazed at the number of times I take a piece I think is really solid to my teacher and she says "Okay, play this phrase for me but block all the chords for now", or "Try playing this phrase of 1/16ths as triplets instead of how they are written", or "Can you start from this measure right here", and I freeze and my mind goes blank even though the music is sitting right there in front of me.

I try to take these experiences as an indication that I don't yet know the piece well enough. And I can't learn it at this deeper level by just playing it over and over, I too have to take it apart in some of the ways suggested to make sure I really have it.

funny, that EXACT same thing, exactly as you described happened to me after my lesson on Tuesday! (lesson, at a church, youth walk in.. haha!)
Don't feel bad, it's natural.

-Paul

Oh I can really relate to this!!! It is soooo embarassing. I've even blanked out to the point where my teacher will ask me to start on a particular measure (pointing to the exact note) and I can't even find the right note!! It really makes a difference for me if I, even after memorizing a piece, keep the music in front of me and force myself to start at different measures and try to practice looking away and back again from the score. Of course I still freeze often. and as I took theory, my teacher will sometimes quizz me on "What chord is this?" (and it's a diminished 7th of the dominant etc...)or "Suppose we transposed it up a third" or aaaahhh!! Of course he's quite good natured and patient and I do like the challenge but......

I also suffer from performance anxiety. I'm trying to keep my headphones off except when someone is watching TV (thanks Cindy), and every time someone comes over I am THINKING about asking them to listen. Of course I haven't actually asked them yet but I'm working up to it!!!!

Xenon-

Another funny thing is that, in some ways I think when it's children or young people, it's more nerve-inducing. Adults can tell when someone is in the middle of the learning process, and think "hey you're doing really weel" but we think that children don't do that and are more likely to judge critically. This might be true, but more likely the children don't care!

There are excellent things posted here about memorizing and just getting used to playing for others. Another thing I would add is that it helps to develop an attitude. "Yeah, I might mess up. Who cares? Ya gotta problem with that Buddy? Wanna step outside? You wanna piece of my mistake?"

I always tell my adult ESL students (who are paralyzed by the thought they might make a mistake) that they should congratulate themselves when they make a mistake, because that means they're doing something, they're trying and they're making an effort. The only time there are no mistakes is when you're just sitting there quietly. So be proud of your mistakes because they actually show how great you are!

Playing in front of others means someone will hear your mistakes. To think otherwise is just setting yourself up for disappointment.

If you can believe that having your mistakes heard is not bad or scary, I think it helps. Do your best to prepare and know the piece, and then let go of the idea that your performance will be perfect. Learn to live with the mistakes, and don't let them stop you when you're playing for others. If you can accept the mistake then it's easier to play through it, and of course if you can play through the mistake, that makes it less noticable.

Hi Lizzy....

Ditto on the same experience. Before our praise and worship sets my hands would sweat, throat would dry up, and I felt as if I were going to get sick and pass out, all through fear. It was a relief when church was over, and I dreaded the next Sunday for the same reason.
Eventually as you mature musically you will depend less and less on playing mechanically. You will get to a point when you know your songs so well you'll realize you wont need the sheet music or a lead sheet. When that happens, you'll throw in your own lick here and there and then you'll start playing from the heart. When you start to "feel" your music, is when you will start to overcome your fear, and this is why.
When you find you're playing from the heart you will naturally concentrate on the song itself, and eventually gain the word that will destroy your fear. Confidence. When confidence takes over, your home free, and free it is. Looking back, I HATED that fear, and now I laugh at it. Even though I dont play in church anymore, I recently played a four hour solo at a benefit for a sick girl, and there were over a thousand people there. (smiling),...I did'nt even know they were there.
Trust me, you'll get there, just hang tough.

Ah, but it's when you know that the kids can play rings around you, and they know the piece you're playing, that's when it gets really nerve-wracking!

Sweep88,

You've played praise and worship music?

Can you recommend a good (early) intermediate book of pieces that sound good as piano solos?

I've been hoping to find such a book, but I'm afraid to buy anything for fear it won't sound right and because I can never remember the names of songs I like church.

The tips on memorizing are excellent. In fact, I'd love to see someone start a thread on that here. I memorize very few pieces and am generally lost without the sheet music.

The ones I have memorized are strictly muscle memory and, yes, I have to start from the beginning and walk a tight rope all the way through.

My problem is a common one. I'm a good sight reader and so I don't look at my hands while playing. It is well known that this inhibits memory. Thus, good sight readers are usually bad memorizers and vice versa.

Regarding playing in front of people, when I had my upright in the main living room, I used to play regularly in front of my family (for better or worse ). I never had a problem playing in front of other people (assuming I had my sheet music).

But when we moved, we put the piano on a different living level where others could barely hear me. I found that when it came time to play in front of others, I froze.

When I went shopping for my grand piano early in 2004, I could not play in front of salespeople. It was so embarrassing seeing them thinking "what the heck is this guy getting a grand for."

I still can't play in front of my piano tech after he tunes the piano.

The moral: if you want to learn how to play in front of people, do it as often as you get the opportunity. Cindy made an interesting suggestion using the phone in that regard.